And then there are the FAT...

Men, Women and then there are the Fat. As far as I see it, this is THE most prevalent classification of mankind. The others, based on religion, caste, geography and all that blah, fade into oblivion.

I maybe digressing now, but lemme tell you a recent and relevant incident . Another one of those girl-inspection days. One set of parents walked in, walked over (us) and walked out. The 'Mom' was pretty sweet, all gushing that I was THE daughter-in-law they were looking for, while the 'Dad', well, he was a different story altogether. For the first 20 min of the conversation, the dude remained silent. So we were deceived into thinking he was the placeholder Decision Maker in the family whereas auntyji was the Real Deal. But then he opened his mouth. (Uhm, he did earlier too, but that was to stuff it with halwa, 25 pooris, potato AND unimaginable quantities of kalakhand that we served!) His first words were, "So, do you exercise?" If till then I was smiling and obliging, this question left me flabbergasted, because I knew where this was heading. I said,"Not really. I've been planning to, but haven't yet". Initially my mom got all defensive and for some godforsaken reason felt the need to justify," Illa, she used to go to the gym earlier but......no time now. And once she left it she put on more weight. But she loves working out. She....is very enthusiastic about it. She....diets a lot." etc etc.

Then he went on about how fitness is important and how his wifey aces 40 min on the treadmill every day (auntyji was beaming across the room) and how he is Mr.Calisthenics himself. All that with a belly the size of that cooking vessel in Jodha Akbar! Now, on a normal day, I would never be so mean as to say this about someone else, especially someone I hardly knew and that too well over 60. I wouldn't be judgemental about 'guests' coming into my house unless, UNLESS, he hadn't said all that he said!

Next he said, "I don't know what your weight is but I can tell you, you have to lose 10 kgs. And you should not gain it back after marriage". If I was flabbergasted before that, now I saw red. But I didn't say anything. Not that I care about what they think but I didn't want to make it seem like my parents haven't brought me up right. I could see my Dad and Dolz realllllll pissed on the side. Surprisingly, this time my mom (who is generally the one pleading/ screaming/ emotionally-blackmailing me into losing weight) laughed and said, "Actually, I've been after her to lose some weight for a very long time. But she says that Being plump is not a character flaw*. If that is the reason for someone to reject her, then she doesn't need a hyprocrite like that. She feels that what if after marriage if she puts on weight, the guy will leave her and go or what?" That moment, I could've just about jumped across the room, lifted my mom off the floor and given her a bear hug. I'm sure she would've thought I was nuts, but she deserved it!

{* That is a quote by a famous, wise, smart and intelligent person, aka Moi}

The opposition Mom decided to take charge again and subtly asked her husband to 'Ssshhh' and went on to pacify me saying,"Adellam thaana korayum. Just konjam exercise good dane. Don't worry, you are tall. Your weight doesn't show on you at all. You look really nice the way you are". [Translation: You will naturally reduce. Just a little exercise is good only] Sweet of her, yea, but not like I was worried and besides, the damage had already been done.

I may not be the dainty darling they are looking for but, what, if I'm fat I'm not marriage material but if I'm thin I'm the epitome of bahu-hood??? Maybe they should be looking out for Jane Fonda's daughter for their US payyan!

Forget just for marriage, fat bashing is everywhere. Fat people are the butt of all jokes. Harmless, at times, but never hurtless. All that extra adipose doesn't really cushion the heart from feeling bad! And you know...? Just because I'm taller and fatter than my older-by-4 years-but-shorter-and-thinner sis, I'm always considered to be the older one. It's almost like I'm gonna have to sport a disclaimer on my forehead henceforth reiterating my 'younger sibling' status.

It's such an annoyingly vain world out there that it really drives me nuts!Why is everything based on face value, or rather figure value? Even before saying hello, people have said,"Oh my god, you've put on soooo much of weight compared to the last time I saw you!" As I've said earlier, niceties are rare and unimportant.

But you know what? Call me plump, fat, gundu, chubby or whatever, atleast I'm happy. And I really would be a lot happier if everyone could see it too.