Mar 6, 2008

I NEED to know now...Does it really hurt...?

Not love. Not breaking up. Not tattoos or peircings. What I wanna know is - Does it really hurt...to SMILE...?

My parents have taught me to be pleasant and polite. And being all full of manners as I am (atleast I try!), I smile at people I know. Not necessarily a buddy or the one-who-sits-beside me. I mean, could be someone on the same floor. There is this one girl at work, whom I see pretty often. I smile at her when I see her and what does she do...? Pass me by like I don't even exist! (This has happened,like, thrice)I mean, it's technically impossible to miss me, you know, thanks to my 'towering personality' (= huge). Besides, I was looking straight at her and smiling. And so, she cannot even use the pathetic excuse that I was probably smiling at the person behind her (or maybe she thought it was the cupboard...?or the wall perhaps...?) Doesn't anyone reciprocate niceties anymore?

She's not the only one. Me and Ruby joint aerobics recently. We were late (as usual) for our first class and the instructor told us to join the crowd and follow suit. We were all left feet and tripping and I looked at the girl in front and smiled sheepishly. She, inturn, threw me this disinterested, 'I'm-too-busy-to-waste-time-smiling' expression! (Adding insult to injury is the fact that she's as thin as a stick of asparagus while I'm that huffing, puffing plump tomato) Thankfully, there was another nice lady who just asked us to hang in there till the end.

With medical reports (eg: Smiling involves just 17 facial muscles and...), poems (eg: Smiling is a merry thing, blah blah blah"), songs (Remember Boyzone's biggest hit: Words, which began with-Smile, an everlasting smile.......??") and the likes of Hallmark/Archies coming up with the 'Smiley' (that cute, yellow thing on cards/keychains/anything & everything) , the entire 'Smile' concept is pretty much in your face. And so, I'm gonna assume the non-smiling kinds are extremely ignorant people with no life. Living in an igloo without a window and no humans around => Zilch people skills.

Or maybe I'm just ancient. Maybe being grumpy is in and I never realized. Well, the lean, mean men have always been considered hot. You know, the 'bad boy' image and all. Maybe that works for women as well.....? Maybe it's better. Would save guys the effort of saying those corny lines like "Your smile just killed me" or "I love the way your eyes light up when you smile" etc. Or maybe, they'd just change them and go, "Your frown just scared the shit outta me" or "Your dead pan eyes and frigid expression just turn me on".

Whatever maybe, a smile works for me. Lifts me up to smile and be smiled at. What do you think?

Million $ quote: "To Smile or not to Smile. That is the question" (by Will.I.A'int Shakespreeti)

P.S: Update: Ever since I've written this post (like 30 min ago), I've seen Girl#1 twice and I couldn't help but smile so hard, I looked sillier than the Cheshire Cat in 'Alice in Wonderland'!

32 comments:

Prathi:-) said...

yo!!! i got the 1st comment;) and who better to start commenting on a blog abt smiles????
i personally feel dts the 1st step for friendship...
i need to see a proper smile a genuine one... only then will i extend my hand of frnship...
and trust me whnever i smile at sm1 n d person doesnt smile back at me???? it pisses me off so much... if its in a store or smplace whr the sales ppl r expected to be courteous... b4 leaving i will def tell dm n cm dt it doesnt hurt to be nice n smile... its the ;east they can do...!!!
btw... i knw its a little over... but then if i see stranger, any stranger 4 the 2nd anywhr.. i will smile at dt person.. in fact... in my street... i generally smile at every1...
may be i shud lend sm of mine to this dreary world... dnt u thnk?

Prathi:-) said...

p3... finally i have bet satti n rupz ;) hahha :D

JANE JEYAKUMAR said...

:)
loved this one- haaa.. williaint shakespere -tat realy made me smile!!!!
yeh folks keep smilin- it really makes a huge difference :)
Remember our uncontrollable smiling stints wen we get tipsy- haaa haaaa- they actually hurt..
smile on people..

Winds of Change said...

yeah...thr r a lot of grumpy ppl in this world....at wrk....aerobix...street whr v live etc....comparin urself 2 a cupboard/wall wuz the heights.......sum ppl r crazy...thrz nothin much v can do....orrrrrrrr u cud probably jus keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep smilin at her...after a point shed feel sick about herself and really giv a smile n start acknowledgin ppl....if they still dont, then they jus hav no 'soranai'.......
apart frm dat i think as jane said...we'v all had our share of laughin our guts out...whthr itz at cw/mocha/aerobix/muviez....so if the othrz dont...v hav a fun time 4 dat as well!


:) (signin off wit a smiley-i kno itz obvi..stil)

u kno who

--xh-- said...

well, actually i also have come across this - both from guys and gals @ office - many ppl have something like, if they smile, they will lose something... but anyway, i keep smiling @ ppl.. :-)

keep the smiling habit - there will b ppl who enjoy and cherish ur smile....

confounded-lady said...

:D Couldnt help smiling all the way thru this post. I cant what impact your smile has when just your post can do wonders :)
One thing, dont stop smiling...I'm sure ppl will get the hang of it and smile back at you. And that will be nice. :D


P.S: Luciifer was also Cinderella's stepsisters' cat. :D

A.Johnson said...

Will.I.A'int Shakespreeti!?!

Hooooo man! If you came up with that all by yourself... hahaha! Aw man! Nice.

If somebody (I dont care WHO) neglects (even unintentionally) to return a smile... That's all. Cya!! No more Mr.Smiley from me... It'd a permanent crippling experience. It's unhealthy (maybe), but I dont care. It'd take a gun to the back of my head to force out a smile ever again for that person.

How u managed to smile back at that girl after all this, Lord knows. But it takes a lot. I admire the effort, but I certainly wouldn't encourage it.

A smile means so much to me that everybody I'm close to knows that's a sure shot way to know if I'd fall for the girl or not. I love smiles, and I totally flip if it's a cute one.

It jus totally makes my day to see people I smile at reurn'em back. It's a confidence building experience with every smile.

Anonymous said...

I got two things from this post.

1. How you ended up going out with 5 guys (sorry for harping on it).

2. My theory that "It takes at most 5 smiles from a girl to get a guy" is correct.

-Ok

P.S. Do you mind if I use your personal history when I publish my book on how to get a guy in 10 days? Kidding:D

Keshi said...

**Pass me by like I don't even exist!

o tell me abt it Preeti, there r so many of em! :)

Now wut I do is, if they dun smile bak at me, I look at em again and smirk at them like 'who d u think u r'. LOL!

u dun HAVE to be nice to NOT-SO-NICE ppl.


Keshi.

PREETI said...

@prathi: who better to b the first commenter on my blog on smiles than u...?!! :) n plz, feel free to go ahead n lend ur smilez to the world...mayb u cn charge them too...?

@janie wanie: oooh the entire tipsy smilin thing sure is hurtful! as they say, too mch of anythin isnt good ;)

@windz: info- i dint mean i ws the cupboard/ wall...bt then iv already explained it to u ovr the phone :D bt yes, smilin, laughin n gigglin is us...n whthr the world does it or not, v stil wil! :D

@xh: "many ppl have something like, if they smile, they will lose something... " SOOOOO true...itz lik their teeth r gonna fall off if they smile!?? hehe...

@maythu: yup im gna go on the persistence track...afterall it is my second middle name ;)

@andu san: yes, i came up with tat ALL by myself...nice huh? ;) hehe...smilin is really a confidence booster...as i said, to smile n b smiled at...

PREETI said...

@OK: well, im actually thinkin quite a bit to reply aptly to ur comment. I guess tis wud b it:

1. Hw i ended up with 5 guyz doesnt hv much to do with the smile really...cuz if it did, i shudv been with a million n nt 5 :)

2. Guys r pretty shallow aren't they...?to ask a girl out juz cuz she smiled at him,what, 5 timez...?Smilin, or atleast my smilin, is nt a guy gettin tactic bt more of a cordial/friendly attempt...(n i obviously wud nt say yes to every 5-smiles-n-im-in-love guy... :D

And I'm gonna add my own pt#3,

3. Not takin offense at ur comment, but goin out with 5 guyz does not make me a man-hunter...And by pretty much harpin on it, the essential idea of the post is lost :) I assume ur not quite a smiler, r u?

P.S: A mention in ur book? Honoured! :P

PREETI said...

@keshi: i really hope i miraculously gt the strength to not b nice to those who r not nice to me!

*prayin hard to god with eyes closed*

Ok said...

Aiyo..that was supposed to be witty not bitchy.. In any case no offence intended..

-Ok

PREETI said...

@OK: No offense taken :) i guess tatz the prob with the written world huh? the tone is absent n so the meanin cn come out entirely different...bt dnt worry, urz ws witty n i dint tke it to b bitchy...bt juz in case decided to offer the explanation... :)

cva said...

Oh dont tell me about it.

"I am like a mirror, when u look at me, I will smile if you smile. I will frown if you frown. I will be reflection of what you are."

This does not always work, I agree.

I dont care for all those people who fail to be a reflection of me.
Thats the way they are. I am not going to change.

But I am more worried about another category of people who flash a plastic smile. Its a hard, wide, painful grin. It makes me feel bad immediately.

But to all those people who smile and enquire, "I love you all"

PREETI said...

@cva: I totally agree...Those plastic grins and fake smiles r absolutely annoying!!No soul i say :)

Ekta said...

God!
Ur post is bang on!
In HK..its so amazing to see that most of the local HK people for some reason dont believe in smiling even when u greet them..such a turn off!

PREETI said...

@ekta: i knw wat u mean! i think it hs somethin to do with the slit eyes race itself!hehe...i used to work with japz earlier and they wr juz the same!thnx for droppin by :)

Ziah said...

Brrr! some seriously fruss ppl you smile at:) I thought Mumbai was full of rude people... :) Will I -aint Shakespeare sure gets his facts right:)
there.. I'm smiling...:)

PREETI said...

@ziah: yea, temme abt fussy ppl! :) i guess these specimens r thr all over the world!

btw, itz Will.I.Ain't Shakespreeti :D wich wud make it a her...in other wordz, none other than "urz truly"! ahem ahem! hehe

KP! said...

Well Written...:) you have broght up excellant point...here in state people are nice and when they pass by they atleast say hi ocassionaly u find few of those like u mentioned abt ur office mate...they just ignore u...god knows why? some people fail to understand by smiling and saying hi or being courteous doesnt really hurt much....:). a friend once said..."Smile a day keeps a doctor away".

Tys on Ice said...

:)

there u go!

hope tht makes up for all the smiles u deserved to get but didnt...or better still :

http://bp1.blogger.com/_afaEW5LDTdM/RvujPu9ORVI/AAAAAAAAAG8/qPhBJSeZI28/s1600-h/12092007.jpg

Lambuchops said...

It really is annoying when I smile at someone and they refuse to smile back! Especially when I smile at the very few and far between ladies that visit my office and they look at me like they're saying "Boy how r u so happy in this dump!!??".. Dunno maybe they think Im creeping them out!

Smiles even get me outta trouble so often.. When I was in college I'd smile my way out of assignments, tests, and extra classes! :D.. Good fun.

Btw, thts a nice profile pic.. Where are all these pretty, smiling ladies when Im out around Chennai!!

Keshi said...

Im not sayin u become a mean biyatch to nasty ppl..lol! Just dun react to such ppl's dramas. That'll get em. :)

Keshi.

Madhumita. said...

Hey Preeti, maybe some people (read myself :-)) don't even realise that their mugs are really unsmiling? I've been accused many times of looking uptight when actually I'm not!

But yes, I think I would automatically smile back at someone.

While I'm psycho analyzing, heres another one - in the case of strangers exchanging smiles, maybe some people don't because they are just a little scared of or slightly uncomfortable with getting out of their comfort zone and bonding with an unknown person?

There - now with all that free analysis, hope you have a nice day! :-)

PREETI said...

@kp: thnx :)n yes, a smile a day really would keep the doctor away...wonder when people wud learn...!

@tys on ice: hahahaha!tat really,really,REALLY made me smile :) :) :) thnx!

@lambu: smilez cn definitely gt u outta tricky situationz...oh yes it can ;)

thnx abt the profile pic...these n all the pretty, smilin ladiez r very much arnd...keep lookin ;) hehe...

@keshi: learnin a lotta keshi-ism lately...gna put it to task :)

PREETI said...

@madhumitha: yea, i shudv thought of tat too...or mayb they r juz havin a bad day...hmm...true...thnx for the analysis...or rather food for thought... :)

The Techno Maniac said...

You know wat.. some times.. a smile causes a lot of problems.. you smile at a cute girl and most think that you re flirting with them.

Lets take a case study of you girls..

Some nut cases like you, will write a blog on how a guy on the road smiled at you at 9.00 pm, and how you got scared and ran all the way home at 9.00 pm and felt why only you face such problems and you will ask for suggestions on wether to take a swiss knife, blade, chilly powder etc.. and when people talk about exceptions, you will say exceptions are not examples, quoting some stupid professor of yours and will also go to an extent of crying about how cruel the men thereby exhibiting your feminist ideals.. and this will fly as email, sms , blog, top news of the week etc..[:P]

certain cases like your close friend will file an eve teasing case on the guy, or talk in a brave manner like, "you shud have hit him where it hurts di" etc.. and god knows wat she does in reality.. and she will go to an extent to damage the guy's entire family (with just words, that are unreasonable) [:D]

certain girls other girls like jane smile back [:)] and make friends.. and.. something terrible happens, she will learn a lesson and will part gyan at the most unappropriate time..

So guys have to be really carefull.. :P

Just kiddin (abt you girls..) now the lady at your office who knew you and refused to smile.. she has an inferiority complex in general. she is not confident of herself. I have been thru that stage for quite some time..

the aerobic class one.. is indiffernt.. just like diff speices.. you hav different kinds of people..

some time when jane forces me to smile.. i do put on an artificial smile, and i d be smacked on the head by her.. its so comical, my expressions.. she did manage with great difficulty to take a photo of that.. and i took greater difficulty to delete it.... but somewhere down the line.. i do believe, that smile is one curve that can set straight many issues.. and most importantly.. it shud be specific.. not the same expression for every one!!

Some people have such dangerous smiles.. that you fall in love at first sight.. eg: preity zinta, aish rai bach, salma hayek, jennifer anniston etc.. you re wonderin wether your name will feature in these names??

Definitely Not!! [:P] but i shud say.. you do have a cute smile.. happy?? :P now wipe that frown on ur face and replace it wit a smile.. its the only thing which makes you "look" adorable, not your sense of fashion, ideas, ideals, communication etc.. overa insult panreno?? parvala.. namba preeti daney!

Cheers,
TechnoManiac

PS - Now, I can look forward to a few amusing emails :P

PREETI said...

@satti satti satti: un kovatha theeka inda edam dan kidachida???well truthfully, u knw wat uv written is BS...u knw it :) cuz uv written it with solely the intention of buggin me n i knw tat...so well i wsnt frownin n ws smilin thruout...n i certainly DINT expect u to include my name thr cuz well ur attempt ws to insult me :D

newayz,FYKindI, the dude behind me dint smile at me..ada panirnda paravala...whthr or nt u accept it (wich i knw u wnt cuz u wanna bug me)n im nt a feminist... :) n u knw it :)

n do u wanna gt into hw ur blogz r made? actually for this me,jane,prathi AND ruby wud be testimony to it...rem the num of timez u hd to BEG us to stop... :D
oohhh...we rock! :)

monkey... :P

The Techno Maniac said...

p3 preeti preetzi,

What I have written may is BS to you cause you dont accept my view points.. not that you have to accept..

and abt my blogs, previously, i was the one with stupid blogs, and now you have joined in that list. you have this wonderful capability of topping the list in whatever you do.. so needless to say, you re on the hot seat with rank 1..

We are now even.. you make fun of my blogs and i will return them back to you.. cause u r also on the list.. :P and now its pay back time for wat you did to me on my last blogs :P so.. u better be careful... Oh man.. i can rock too!!!

And yeah.. i did intend to bug you on the smile part.. atleast we agree with each other on one point. :)

Feminist.. that you are!! :) :P

TM

♥bμşγ-ŵŗϊŧēŕ♥ said...

i thought i commented on this post. :O

where did it go??

:O

lol, btw..u on a bloggin spree eh? :P
nice readin more of you though. :)

PREETI said...

@busygurl: did u comment earlier? :O

whr'd it go? :O

hehe...newayz, bloggin spree...kinda...tatz wat happenz whn u HAVE work bt juz dont WANNA work n hv access to ONLY blog sites n no other internet...i dno if i shud b :) or whthr everyone else shud b :(