BLuSh, CrUSh and ALL that MuSh!

Update: Note to Public- I am NOT getting married YET. What I meant by arranged marriage time is that, my parents have been bitten by the 'kalyanam virus' and decided enough is enough and wanna push me out. Considering poor lil me has noone to show-off to my parents as 'the man', I'm left with lil choice but to say ok to the entire (pathetic) process! And the process has just started. Will definitely keep you all updated. So please, I'm not aunty, YET! :(

As much as I have tried denying it, as much as I hate accepting it, I blush. At the drop of a hat. Uhh, actually a name. Ask Jane. She'd tell you. Cuz she's the first one to figure it out yearz back. I blush when you mention certain names. I don't know if my complexion allows me to turn red, but if it did, I would. Beet red. That sudden rush of blood to my face, causing a flush that's called a blush when you mention the name of a crush that makes my insides go mush!

Honestly...? I must admit I don't know if I know what love is. As in, the real love or true love or whatever. I mean, there may have been 5 guyz in my life, but they were all the wrong ones. Only 2 of them meant something. The 1st one cuz that was the longest and the 3rd cuz he treated me the best. In the 1st case, I was wayyyyyyy too young when I was in it. I was more in love with the 'idea of being in love', than in love itself. Carried away, quixotic, all that. And then reality struck. The other 3 were friends, on the verge of becoming more. Professed their love for me and I was in the confused,"Hmmm, he's a nice guy. And a great friend. Maybe he's the one...???" state. But nope, they weren't. Cuz they just weren't genuine. And I found that out later, luckily before things went further. Now, with the 3rd guy, everything was perfect. Like in every-fucking- possible way. The real deal and then wham!it was over (Short and sweet...?) As I did mention in My 10 most, he passed away a year later and the only explanation I see for us breaking up was that God willed that way. To save me the trouble of having to deal with the grief of him going away that way.

Ok, this is sooo not meant to be sad! So lets regress to the basic point - Blushing and crushing and mushing! (henceforth BCM). I may not know what love is but what I do know is that, to blush, it doesn't have to be love. Could be that cute guy passing by. Or, a call from a guy I really like. I even blush when people make fun of me with some random guy! I have this smile stuck on my face -Colgate style - 32 teeth, cheek-to-cheek (or rather whatever my tiny lips would allow) and thanks to Jane's publicity, everyone I know, knows it now. And I hate it! I hate that I blush and I hate it that I'm so readable!

I really am not all that romantic a person. I'm not in denial here. I really am not that extra mushy,'oh my baby baby' kinda person. I don't mind being called that way. But reciprocating it is a different ball game. I love flowers and gifts and all that. But am not much of the candle-light dinner type. I would prefer to go to a movie (I actually went for Marudhamalai!), normal dinners (as long as there's food!) or even coffee (the drinking kinds, d-u-h).

I don't feel the need to hype every occassion (but for a birthday) and disappoint/get disappointed when high riding expectations aren't met. The simple things matter to me. You know, simple caring gestures go a longggg way in making me feel secure rather than mile-long speeches professing undying, unrequitted love and its likes. Everytime I've heard it, I was left stupefied at how people could actually say stuff like that. My reply:
1. Aloud: "Aww, that's sooo sweet!"
2. In the confines of my mind, "Naa already 3 timez kaadhu kuthiyachu pa! (Translation: I've already pierced my ears thrice. Uhmm, doesn't make sense in English, so forget it)

And now it's arranged marriage time. I'm not gonna get into my woes on that but my sentiments are: Unknown guy = extra low levels of BCM. Friends say that'd change and things will get all happy, happy and al. But, I can't help but feel doubtful now. Hmmm, all I can do is wait and watch. Let's see, pakalam, dekhte hain, mitteyou!

Sooooooooooo...Temme guyz, what's your take on all this? What makes you BLuSh, CrUSh and ALL that MuSh!?

P.S: 1. I'd especially like to hear from Mayth aunty on this. If you don't mind :)
2. I take this opportunity to profess my unconditional love for my Best Bosom Buddies, my Darlin Dido Dolz & Ultimate Superstar Pp ;) And I accept your respective speeches, and I promise my 'inner voice' is silent through it :D I have a crush on you guyz man ;)