Jun 11, 2008

No Peanuts for me Please!

I'm a very weird person really. As I've probably mentioned a million times over, I'm crazily sensitive and sometimes the weirdest of things gets on my nerves and irritates the hell outta me. One of those things is, going by the title, what is most commonly known as the F word - Flirting! (Not that F word!).

Oh, before I continue, I realized that the title relevance would be lost on those who aren't local, ie, not from Chennai. In youth-Tamil (Tamil of the youngsters), we call flirting 'Kadalai podardu'. Kadalai = peanuts, podardu = putting. Now, eating peanuts is considered a time-pass and so is a guy talking to a girl. No clue where this phrase originated and where it was used first. Most likely to be in some Engineering college and as a code-word. There are many such interesting phrases but we shall look into them as and when required, ok class..?? *laughs at own alpa (trivial) joke*
This translation game is getting konjam (little) stale..Aaaah!!!

Anyway, as I was saying, I hate being the flirtee in the entire process of Flirting. I really don't mean to come across as vain (not even close, please!) but I have been on the receiving end of some lameeeee attempts and it kinda makes me :( I've got noooo clue why!Like this one sms conversation:

Me (tensed): "Ok, so I'll send u my resume by tomorrow. Hoping for the best!"
Guy: "Haha, you are so cute"
Me: ?!?!

The history behind this guy I unforunately cannot tell, just incase, but the reason it was sooo annoying was because I know for a fact that his intention was to flirt (though he claims he is in love with me. Like yea rite!)

I just wish guys would be normal when around a girl. Whether or not they have a crush on her or are trying to get her out on a date. Not all girls fall for flattery! And also when the display of affection or care has an (obvious) underlying motive, it creeps me out.

Like when I was sick last week (with just a goddamn cold), this guy actually gave me a mini condolence talk (that's what I call it) like I had some extremely communicable disease and would just about drop-dead any second.

And then there's reassurance. The you-are-so-pretty or you're-just-perfect routine. Sometimes I wonder if my adverse reaction is because I don't like, as in like, the guy in question and whether if I did like him, maybe I wouldn't mind this. But no, that's not true. It's just that it's all so obviously flaky and fake!

Unfortunately I'm a person loaded with guilt. My Guilt is the bane of my existence, really. I feel miserable not to reply to an sms from these guys because they are friends, afterall. But at the same time, I'm extremely conscious of my intentions being misconstrued!

Friendly is fun and funny is fine, but flirty....? No, no, no!

P.S: 1. I'm not a mean girl! I'm not :-/ :(
2. Today is special. EXACTLY 1 month to go for my Birthday!

58 comments:

--xh-- said...

ha ha ha.. so no kaladali, rt?

--xh-- said...

pk, now - the previous comment was just a blabber - had to put it there b4 any one comments... :-D

l'll bit of casual flirting is ok, but whn it goes overboard, ppl starts getting irritated... guilt - try to avoid it... whn u get an sms like that next time, avoid it... u cannot please all the people all the time... :P

The Techno Maniac said...

You really are weird, crazily sensitive and nuts!

The thing, here is your excellency, I know why you have so many problems, and when I tell them to you, we end up fighting. I dont want to fight with you..

One thing I have understood is that i can never understand you. So acceptance is the best strategy for "PREETI" :P

Cheers,
Centaur

gradwolf said...

preeti, you are so damn cute! your blogs are so cute. I am 22/m(duh!)/Raleigh....asl please?

:P

Arun Sundar said...

Why dont tell this straight to that guy. Or does he read your blog?

And btw, there are guys who are normal when around a girl :)

Anonymous said...

i was abt to post the same comment, wit diff words.. anaa.. ithu pathi than unaku theriyumey!! :P

Cheerz,
TM

Anonymous said...

@gradwolf - i was abt to post the same comment, wit diff words.. anaa.. ithu pathi than unaku theriyumey!! :P

itha poyi "cute" nu solreyey da! ;P

Cheerz,
TM

(missed ur name buddy!)

Okie Dokie said...

Let me shed some light on the mystery.

So traditionally a guy takes the girl to Marina or Bessy. There they spend time looking at the waves, holding hands and nowdays, throwing a couple of fleeting kisses into the mix. Often, when the kindred souls are staring it nothingness they are brought back to reality by the 'kadala boy', i.e., the chap who sells kadala. Since kadala is pretty much the only thing our modern day Romeo can afford, he shells out Re. 3 to buy it for her.
The couple then continue the staring, holding, kissing routine but with a single cone of uneaten kadala in the guys hands.

A keen student of human behavior observed this strange ritual and christened this 'kadala putting'.

Okie Dokie said...

"And also when the display of affection or care has an (obvious) underlying motive, it creeps me out"

Finally! Most dumbfucks think the guy is being genuine. My opinion is the only reason a guy talks to a girl is cauze he likes her and is hoping to get her.

I mean lets face it. Guys are a lot more fun to hang out with. So the only reason why a guy should hang out with a girl is because she is a girl.

rsubras said...

hehehe cute one.....

but no you are wrong, esp when u generalize... ppl like to put kadalai (i am not targetting any one gender here)... but thatz probably only bcoz the interest of a convo with that particular person gives...

paavam antha sms anupinna guy..... total damage :) just wonder if that guy visits ur blog :))..

one ismall doubt...

>>Anyway, as I was saying, I hate being the flirtee in the entire process of Flirting.

how about being the other way round....... do u like that or hate that too?? :p

aneri_masi said...

I guess the peanut thing in Tamil is similar to "ghaas daalna" in Hindi?

Guys can be pretty stupid. To the point of being "ugh"!

I had met this one guy during a dance performance thing (there were like 15 group dances, he was in one of them, and I was working backstage,I never saw the dude). I get this email the next day, "I lost a scarf (!!!) on the set, did u find it. And btw, do you drive a green accord (I guess its a very common car desis drive around here!) Yuck! I am not lost-and-found, and please do not doubt my brain by saying such stupid things!

Another one...he IMs me at work, "I see you in the gym, when are you going again"! Not when you're there, you creep! Then another IM, "I see you looking at me in the cafe, and I think you want to talk to me". Umm..yeah, I look around to make sure I don't run into you! This one got a little too annoying, had to mention it to my manager :(

***2. Today is special. EXACTLY 1 month to go for my Birthday!***
You are too cute for words, Preeti :)

Art said...

My commiserations to you on behalf of all the guys in the world.

Mansi Trivedi said...

No, you're not mean at all. I know how this feels like... I would take flirty comments from those I want to be flirted with! ;)

Superficial Gibbering prater said...

I would like to give my expl of the word Kadalai(OK's Expl was good,but still the etymology cannot be so Place specific,in this case beach specific.After all Kadalai is universal,rite ?..)

If you observe a kadalaikaran on the road,u must see how he varutifies the kadalai.He has to fry it in such a way that it is well-fried so as to qualify as tasty but also has to be Xtra careful,that it doesnt become deep-fried..as in "adi pidichi" and becomes dark and inedible.Among Boys circle,the art of talking to a good looking gal is considered such a ritual of tight rope walking.U have to fry it,but be careful not to exceed.Entertain without exceeding the limit.As the analogy was perfect,Thus came the word into existence..

Long live Kadalai :P

Winds of Change said...

wat nonsense!

i think ppl r reallllyyyyyyyyy mad these days.....
ah! a month to go.....;D

tc
u kno who

kumar said...

well a lil mindless flirting is ok,but when someone goes overboard with it it really becomes annoying,so 1 month more to go to add onemore treat to the pending list...:-)

k10 said...

'Kadalai podardu'

I think the term originated from people feeding kadhalai to monkeys....
and somehow some mad assed feminist somewhere decided that the a monkey was a code name for women...
So...
:):)
PS: Pl. dont kill me.

The Maverick Blog said...

Hmmm.. U just need to tell this directly to the guy/guys who tend to flirt with u... U just need to tell them "I don't like to flirt and those who flirt"..

And advanced B'Day wishes....

Idling in Top Gear said...

Hmm - Flirting can be fun if done right (minus cheese, over-kindness, excessive compliments, etc.)

The best flirts are smart, barely flattering, sometimes coy and a bit mischievous, to where they make you think for a split-second and laugh while looking for the right response. Actually, flirting is not too much unlike a debate, if done right (and if you're interested in the other party.)

Not to be confused with pickup lines like this one:
Desi-loving White girl to desi dude in a club: "I can't believe people aren't mobbing you, ShahRukh"

The dude looks absolutely nothing like SRK from any angle whatsoever.

Keshi said...

omg I so know wut u mean Preeti! Some dudes dunno where to draw the line when it comes to that!


**!Friendly is fun and funny is fine, but flirty

harmless-flirty is ok but not overboard! I hate it when a guy thinks being called good-looking means a request to touch him. LOL!


Keshi.

Preeti said...

@xh: Hehe, i know the 1st comment was a blabber :D Yea, I'm trying to learn the art of saying no...I dont know how long it'd take me to even 'think' or trying it!

@T.MANIAC: Acceptance is what we do with everybody..cuz there r a million or more things that u wud never understand or try to understand rite??? :P This is not just with PREETI :P

@Gradwolf: Enna thambi, kindala? :P
(Hehehheehe!)

@Arun: And I'm glad for the existence of such guys :) But about tellin him directly, there lies the problem...Ok, maybe i must get a lil into the histroy...He happens to be someone in my family's very close friend...So i can't even say anything untoward :-/

@Anon aka TM aka Technomaniac aka Satti aka Sathiyanarayanan: Poda venna :P

@Okie: Hahahahahahahahaha! That was a superrrrr explanation! I wil definitely remember it as a story for my kids...Cha! I can't believe I didnt see the connection between namma beach lovers and the sundal boy! And I agree guys r more fun company ;)

@Rsubras: I agree da...See, extended conversations (which maybe be pointless but yet) are considered kadalai by the jealous other boys..hehe...adellam ok...And i seriously dont intend to damage this guy's image or anythin..Unmaya sola pona, he wanted a girlfriend as he was bored of being single and he wanted to 'try out' for me cuz he thinks im a nice girl...and he's associated with family...ipadi irukarche, in irrelevant situations, when u say tihngs to woo a girl, it is semmmaaaa irritating...! And clarification: I don't know how to flirt so im never a flirt-er! ;)

@Aneri: Im hyper blushing at the cute bit :) :) :") But all those instances u mentioned, sheesh! I dont even know what to say!Men- go figure!

@Art: Not all men, but quite a few (nice) guys who just dont necessarily think...Or probably they think sappy is mushy..Or maybe im just not lookin at it rite...i dno!Btw, welcome here...

@Mansi: Haha! Yea, I'm glad u understand! :)

Preeti said...

@Superficial: Hahahahahahahaa!!!I would say long live Okie and superficial...Chance e illama explanations thara!Both ur explanations combined make for a real good story...IT should be put up on Wiki really!

@Winds: Yea di yea! :P

@Kumar: Yea, ellame oru alavu dan! :) And treat kandippa! On ur next spritiual trip :)

@K10: U just nearlyyyy escaped bein killed cuz of the humour element involved in it! I'm laughin so much I dont have the strength to kill u! :P

@Maverick: Read reply to Arun pertaining to this guy...As far as other guys, yea, i guess i gta do tat....i juz dnt wanna hurt anyone...and thanx for the wishes...sooo much! :)

@Idling: True, smartness in any form is appreciated (-) the cheese!!!And ROFL at that SRK bit! I guess, as they say, all Indians look the same to them White-skinned! :D She would most probably not even recognize SRK if he was there! hehe...

@Keshi: Forget touch, not even talk! hehe! I don't even know if its ok for me to get so worked up abt it sometimes!

Karthik B.S. said...

black template with a blue font.... eh.. glaring.. :)

alex said...

well...i guess you have identified the problem-guilt itself.

PS Came here through Keshi's.

The Techno Maniac said...

Nope.. Acceptance is just wit "THE PREETI" not others! I usually am able to understand them!!

Nee Podi!!

The Techno Maniac said...

and i for got to mention one thing.. you really are mean.. dnt aske me why, because I am not going to answer it! Mnkey!

Nirmal said...

ohhh sad that u hate flirting


but i njoy them....hehehe

ani said...

okk.. was that a very sutle reminder that.. yes my birthday is due soon.. to be exact in a month.. hehe

and about the flirting.. hehe its something the guy always has to try.. and we girls just couldn't be bothered.. i guess sometimes the wrong ppl end up flirting with us more.. n by wrong i mean.. some one we would never think about going ard with..

hehe anyways.. this saga.. is bound to continue.. so is my mindless chatter ;)
muahh..

K.C. said...

Loved reading this... LOVED IT.. Remember those days so well.. Got to say... Flirting, geez, I miss it. This ancient one, here, is missing it. :)

And, girl, as far as what you wrote on my post. This is going to sound as corny as it gets. But, you better KNOW... Love yourself all the day long.. ALL THE DAY LONG. I promise you that your mom has no idea what she is doing to you. Because she loves you all the day long. We "moms" can be so stupid sometimes. We love you guys so much, and our critisms, ugh...

OK, that is my cornball saying for today! Your blog for today was hilarious again! KC

Shikha said...

My first time here..will be coming back to read the 'countless' number of posts under nonstop nonsense :)

Rajesh said...

Well...Rajesh here... i found ur article very nice...came across urs at indiblogger.in ...what amazed is the response u get 4 ur articles.. atleast 30-40 comments and u deserve it for those frank and simply:) complicated narrations. I wud like u give me tips on bloogging at rajesh.sri88@gmail.com ...do read ma blog wen u find time

The Mahathma said...

I like the way you have used !!! ... reminds me of myself :p

so you are another one of that kind ...

nice read

wt said...

LOL! flirty friends are pretty tacky. and it takes quite a bit to not whack the brains outta those wannabes who try to hit on me at the parties. while the blaring music helps to fade out the lame pick up lines thrown around, the latest stint goes this way...the loser types in fb? on their text pad for which i promptly reply with a fo! ;) :D

ps: Meanie! Meanie!! Meanie!!!:p :D

Okie Dokie said...

And I just realized you are 382 days older than me:). Wait. Or is it 18?

Superficial Gibbering prater said...

just a quick update.Read in Science section of the Hindu,the outer covering of the peanuts supposedly has some enzyme(or watever they call it) which helps to retard ageing.

In short kadalai for a long youthful life.Isn't the pun so wonderful !!!!

SK said...

Hhaha kadalai, pongal all namma oor baashai only. :--)

I dont agree with Ok, I do believe there are some sensible men, who do look at a girl, as a person, and not just a girl.

And I do believe it is our responsibility as girls to be more sensible and not agree to be treated for the sole reason of just being 'a girl'. You know what I mean?

Coconut Chutney said...

Actually flirting is good fun, as long as its harmless. ;)

They used to call me kadalai queen in school, lol dunno if its something I should be proud of but collar uppings anyway. Its a great hobby you know. Peanut frying. :P

Naangalaam romba youth! :P

Linq said...

Hey Preeti,

This is Alpesh from Linq.in. I loved your blog specially the 2 is Company, 3 a Crowd, 4 is FUN and so this TAG! post and I thought I would let you know that your blog has been ranked as the Best General Blog of week on 2008-06-08

Check it out here Award

Linq tracks posts from Indian blogs and lists them in order of recent interest.We offer syndication opportunities and many tools for bloggers to use in there
web sites such as the widget below:

Blogger Tools

By adding this widget you would be able to know the Weekly Statistics of your blog and the various details such as Rank,Votes and the Awards you get from Linq.

Alpesh
alpesh@linq.in
www.linq.in

Beauty and the BEast said...

I read/heard this and it stayed with me because it is oh-so-true:

The best gift any man can give a woman is - HONESTY

Liked reading your post!

rantravereflect said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rantravereflect said...

no peANUTS FOR YA?

then wat is it tat ya talk/mess on ya
phone 18 hours on the phone every day? ;););)
peopel here dun see ya ryte!!

i know the answer to tat- ya pik calls n reply because ya fee bad not picking their calls n not returnin their mess..

heeeeeee:)
ya're seriously the cutest one can see :)n i won't expect ya to say a no 2 neone, cos deep inside ya dun wanna -ya like being there 4 everyone, n everyone wants a piece of ya--heeeeee..\

now peanut-putting- there used 2 be a time i enjoyed it absolutellllllllllllllllly, todayyy:(:( i've kinda lost it.. n men who try doing it, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. it irks the living shit outta me!!!

n deeee, i thought ya loved teh real peanuts!! :( dun wan some??;)

S said...

Happy one month before birthday, It exists in my world!!

Haha, sooo been there. Normally, a good flirt is very impressive, but "you're so cute" does not classify as a flirt, seriously.

Some people just dont know how to put a good flirt to use :) I should give out tuitions or something.

V said...

hahahahahha..

1. i can't flirt
2. i speak my mind way too much
3. i can never praise anyone, let along a girl
4. i'm rude

so, i don't even bother being "nice" to a girl because i like her. it's a mountainous task for me. and yes, i'm single. any surprises? lol

Drenched said...

I so agree with this post. Harmless flirting is alright as long as it's very little and doesn't creep you out. The kind of case you mentioned was plain annoying. There are times when guys whine that girls shouldn't complain against flirting 'cos it gets them attention. Like hell it does! As if a girl in India doesn't get endless amount of unnecessary, nerve-wrecking attention already! I think the best way to shake the idiots off is to give sharp retorts and make them feel like they should never have been born in the first place. I like this method. It makes me feel good. :D
By the way, hi! Long time. :-)

Drenched said...

And yeah, as for the praise, it's the worst thing ever. You don't know how to react and you're not even sure if the compliment was genuine or not. I get so uncomfortable with praise that I end up being rude to the guy. I think maybe I should try to control this habit. :p

@V: Still the same idiot at English I see! It should be, "let alone a girl" and not 'along', you fool. *smirks*

V said...

@Drenched:

it was a typo!! x-( i realized it after i posted that comment but i didn't want to delete it and re-post it because i knew the grammar nazi wasn't around to point it out. :P

V said...

@ preeti:

as an extension to my previous comment, i wouldn't expect the girl to be nice to me either (not that it ever happens!)... why can't people just be themselves..sigh

Gunjan said...

Heyy !!..
cute attempt.. but just make the yellow on ur blog a leetttaal light.. :)

upecmustang said...

i hate such guys
they give the entire 'man' community a bad name (i kno this sounds weird)

no seriously..they try TOO hard man..
And they actualy expect their stupidity to work...
what we think is lame is charming for them...they probably see too many mush movies, or they probably try and copy the cool air of real men (like me..thank you thank you!)

;-)
(yes...aankh maar raha hoon)

all hail the flirty mustang!
peace!

durjoy datta said...

Forgive the guys!
they won't really know you don't like it unless they try it!
let them take their chances!
;)

Preeti said...

@Karthik: Oopsie! :) Will try to look into it :)

@Alex: Welcome here...And my guilt is the problem because...?

@Techno: U better answer me! U come here, unaku nijamave iruku! :P

@Nirmal: I knw u do :P hehe..

@Ani: Yea always the saga with us ritE? Sigh! :P

@KC: Yea I guess parents r like that, huh? But seriously, I love my mom inspite of all her criticisms, just not easily displayed i guess :) And glad u liked my post! Ur not ancient, im sure there r a lotta men at the grocery store waitin to do ur billin (when ur husband isn't around!) hehe...

@Shikha: Awww, REALLY? Thanxxx and welcome here! :)

@Rajesh: Thanx :) bloggin really isn't a big deal..Just write what u wanna write about and ul see there r always takers...will get down to readin urs soon :) Welcome here dude! :)

@Mahathma: Oh yea! Nothin can express excitement or sarcasm as much as a bunch of !!! dont u think? GLAD u agree! :)

@Wt: Wicked wicked wicked! :P

@Okie: I think it is...uhm, 19 days to be exact...And definitely NOT 382 and all...romba too much! :P

@Superfical: HAHAHA! So mucha trivia! Neenga sonna seri daanga...lemme try changin my state of mind ;)

@Chutney: Nijama solla pona, I'm known as that kadalai queen too..But that's cuz i talk a lot and when i talk to a guy ppl assume that...Harmless but when it's konjam over, konjam over irritatin aa iruku! :-/

@Alpesh from Linq: :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) I hope that lets u in on how HAPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYY I am..I'm like...Super ELATED! Thankoooooooo
!!!

@Beauty: Honesty -totally second it! Waitin for someone to gimme that :-/ Welcome here! :)

Preeti said...

@Janie: En di en??? :P Real peanuts i do love 'em...anyday ;)

@S: THankkoooo!!!! Ur a sweetheart! Muahhh! Girl, if ur gonna give out tutions lemme know, il give u quite a lotta leads who REALLY need that trainin!

@V: Totally agree! Y can't ppl just be 'normal'...there are better ways of expressin interest than cheesy lines! That's all im sayin!

@DRENCHED: I come back from my trip to find U here! What more could be better! Misseeddd u and those long comments of urs! Elated to find that! Ok, enough, i sound silly with all the ! (I've bein doin that for a while and it irks me to be so happy!) MEN! Who needs them to feel good huh?

@V again: Yea!!!! Just be 'normal' as i said...i can never get it!

@Gunjan: Yellow too britE? Will tone it down :)

@Mustang: Lay on the charm boy, lemme see how good u r ;) hehe...

@Durjoy: Dude, I would like them better if they didnt try so hard!!!It's not that i dont 'like' them...just that it's a bit irritatin when the intention is so blatant!

Solitaire said...

Oh I actually thought you developed an allergy for nuts like I did!

Preeti said...

@Sol: Hehehe! I know abt ur nut-allergy...This is an allergy too, but one of a different kind ;)

Aleta said...

Peanuts and Flirting ~ Never heard of the saying before! Thanks for the explanation, it's funny and appropriate.

I've never been one to appreciate a guy flirting. As you said, it feels fake. I'd rather an honest compliment than someone who exhales a flirt with every breath. It's meaningless and insincere.

Sounds like what you do want is for a guy to show a sincere interest in you that goes beyond beauty and then later give honest compliments.

awesome springs said...

A DJ rewind: What if it happens for a guy? A girl may not talk stupid at first, but we can find out…. I wish I’d say, “girl, if you are a jerk, tell me honestly, so that I can decide to go out with you not today.”

Try watching this http://youtube.com/watch?v=cQ25-glGRzI . It’s awesome if girls say something like this as in the video, rather than talking stupid things like tea time biscuits, popcorns, ice creams, french fries and sick cinema (of course I respect they love these though).

PS: When people go close to God, God takes away the guilt

Preeti said...

@Aleta: Exactly! U hit the nail right on the head! I really wish a guy would see that too... We(women) aren't really a bunch of bimbos waiting for flattery to reach our heart...!And hey, welcome here :)

@Shaji: Totally agree..Either ways flirting is bad enough...but i havent had a girl flirt with me and so i can only speak for my experiences ;)

Linq said...

Hey Preeti,

Give thanks to your blog its your blog that has earned you an award.

By the way did you try putting the Widget.This widget will let you know the Weekly Statistics of your blog and the various details such as Rank,Votes and the Awards you get from Linq.


Bye and Keep Blogging.

Alpesh
alpesh@linq.in
www.linq.in