Why me? Why NOW?

What, just WHAT is the necessity for marriage for a 23-year old girl?I'm perfectly normal, happy and content with the life I have. Ok, maybe not perfectly normal- there's no such thing as perfect anyway. Uh, maybe not totally happy- everyone has their fair share of worries and well, maybe not entirely content as well- I mean, tell me one person who doesn't wish for 'just a little more'! Oh, forget that, that's not the point! I don't understand why people around me- those nosy relatives, who are never there when you need them but alwayz around to cause trouble, have somehow succeeded in brain-washing my dear darling parents into getting me married! Damn them and the astrologers who said I'd get married by 2008!

To top it all, I'm single, which makes me ineligible for a 'love-marriage'. Not that I want to and not that I trust myself to find my own, but I CANNOT go through the entire pathetic, hypocritical, judgemental process of an 'arranged-marriage'. I find it prettyyyy embarassing that I am now officially registered on bharatmatrimony.com and keralamatrimony.com, thanks to my mixed lineage (Now I've got something to fill up that 'most embarassing moment' slot in slam books n stuff).

Horoscope matching, seeing photos, meeting, talking, unnecessary questions on my height, weight, complexion etc etc and more etc- God, I can't even imagine it all! And its happening- right here, right now. All the details on the website aren't me. Very fair, very intelligent, very beautiful, very......My Dad just loves me too much and I guess the love just overflowed in his description of me. Imagine them coming in and seeing a medium complexion, tall, fat, normal looking girl with brownish hair (and red and gold here n there), a tattoo (that can't be seen, ofcourse and actually, can't be known as well), 3 piercings on one ear and more blah??? Isn't that (to them)...blasphemy...???

I'm not ready for marriage. I'm young, not ambitious maybe, but yet I don't wanna be awife/ daughter-in-law etc so soon. And most importantly? I just can't imagine, not even for a sec, having to leave my parents. I mean, Dolz just got married man. My parents need me. They can't manage alone. I just love them way too much to think of being away. I wanna be Daddy's little girl alwayz...ALWAYZ... *sniff* Yea, I'm crying, yea I'm being childish, yea I'm being silly, but I can't help it. I can't stop feeling what I feel, can I? Damn, its difficult to see through blurry eyes.

All I can do is just wait and watch. I trust my parents not to push me into something I don't want, so I guess it isn't gonna be allll that bad. The choice is still mine. And if I say no, no it is.

Man, Why (the fuck) couldn't I have just been lucky in love...?

I Quit...Uhhh...I think...!

Yea, yea I have dunnit! :) ....Or so I'd like to believe... :)

After a million hair-yanking sessions (thanks to which my straightened/ coloured/ streaked hair seems to be facing an onslaught of increased hair fall, more than the normal 100 hair per day, and not because of the straightening/ colouring/ streaking!) with dad, mum, sis, bro-in-law, friendz etc etc, I finally, finally took the step- To go and 'inform' my 'boss' that he no longer has the pleasure of having me work for him! No more "Preeti, staple this" or "Scan this and print it". No more "Are you done with the work...yet?" (when actually it was him who told me he'd do the work and pass it to me for, well, filing!)

As a self respecting, educated (!) person , I was pretty miffed with :
1. Being paid peanuts (though for someone like me even a million peanuts wouldn't suffice- to eat or otherwise)......

2. Having to travel half the way across the world (ok exaggeration IS my middle name, but c'mon, Mylapore to Sriperumbudur isn't really any better is it?) at 5 am to get to the 'factory' right in the middle of nowhere, where water and electricity is a luxury AND...

3. Talking in Japanese at every turn, which has made me a pretty confused individual with a serious crisis because every time I try to talk, my mind scans through the languages I know- Tamil, English, Hindi and Japanese (Thank God I don't know how to speak my father-tongue Malayalam well enough!) before I can get to the right word! And I am not exaggerating this time!!!! I got a call from my mom this one time I was on a trip with one tiny Jap and kept saying 'Hai' for 'Yes' and 'Aa so!' for 'Apadiya'! Considering I alwayz blabber, she didn't seem to notice but it left me feeling like a fool.

And so, I decided to take the plunge. Maybe my 1st job, maybe just 5 months but I don't wanna wait it out just to get the experience thing up on my resume. Maybe I'm wrong but it doesn't take much to realise what's not profitable. (I had people at work and friendz tell me that in words I definitely wouldn't wanna repeat here. But trust me, it worked!).

Now, the reason I say 'I think' is because, ever since I told him I quit, I've been loaded with work and absolutely no mention on our talks! If you're wondering what I'm doing at work still, well, there were these minor settlement issues and the 2-week notice thingie which I needed him to get back to me on so that I could put in the right dates in my letter, and I'm still, being the fool I am, waiting for him to 'get back to me'!

Anywayz, doesn't matter now. To me, I've quit and as of now, I'm happy to be screaming it aloud from the roof tops! IIIIII QUITTTTT! :)

P.S: 1. If you're gonna ask 'What's next?', then hold on, I really haven't decided yet. I guess I'll take a break from all the working for a while...hehe...1st job, 5 months and here I am basking in the glory of leaving it :)

2. I'm giving in my letter the sec I publish this ;)

Cranky Corner...

Working the day after Diwali absolutely kills. Just a day off for the most revered festival in Indian history! The Japs really derive sadistic pleasure in being and making others workaholics. Makes me wanna quit all over again. But then, I get to blog allll I want from here. Which is pretty obvious considering the sudden increase in frequency of my blogs. Two in a day today!

Anywayz, I really,really wish there could be some place where I could vent out my frustrations. A place where people could go and scream out LOUDDDDD, some sound-proof room with shatter-proof glass! Either people just have very high tolerance or something of the sort hasn't been introduced yet. (Hmmm, not a bad idea for a business venture really. And well, I am awfully bored with working.I could call it - 'I Scream' or something. Ok,ok it does sound pathetic and lame to me too!Hmmm, something to think about)

Another Diwali just went by. The new clothes and the fact that it's a holiday sparked my interest in it. Other than for that, it was just like any other normal day. Or like any other festival- vada, payasam, bindi & bangles and family lunches that alwayz turn bad. I guess this is why a family shouldn't consist of 10 kids, uh, right now adults, but with retarded mental make up!I cannot imagine that thse guys are actually blood related! Me and Dolz are God sent angels then...!

Ofcourse, the up-sides of the day were wearing my new designer jeans (Ahem!Flaunting time :D) and my not-so-designer top (actually not at all a designer top, just said it for the rhythm...hehe) in which I ended up looking like a stuffed chicken but yet it's alright cuz it's new, playing with my baby cuzin, all of one and a half years, who makes me happy,happy when he cutely calls me peeeeeti, watching the beautiful sky crack up into beautiful hues of electric blues, reds and greens AND getting to spend time with the ones I love tons! (a few of them I couldn't meet though). Almost perfect...man, almost!

Oops! Work beckons. I've gotta rush now. Until next time, Chotto matte kudasai! :)

M.E = Mount Everest!

I've alwayz wanted to go somewhere high up, especially high up on the Everest. But I never thought it would ever happen! Until last week.....

3 days last week. Nov 1,2,3 2007 - 3 amazing days when I experienced the heights of heights. And loved it totally! :) The Mount Everest part was Ryan's. When I told him I was high, he joked I was Mount Everest. And I thought it was hilarious and soooo true! But yea, I was up there. Free floating and wow-ed. Looking down at all those tiny miracles around me happen- Prathi losing her 'single' status, Ruby partying along with us, Janie and Satti joining us late-nite, AJ down from Pune! Whatever happened after that doesn't matter. The fights, the abrupt ending, the DJ's crappy excuse, I'm just glad I got to look at the world from up there, through rose-tinted glasses- atleast while it lasted :)

The worst part of a high, is the accompanying low. And moreso, the emotional one!I actually said a lotta senti stuff I never imagined I would. Oh crap!

P.S: Pardon the evasiveness but I guess it isn't really rocket science to guess what I'm talking about. And Satti- nope I'm not a compulsive craver of the high-ness. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to break free and let your hair down. And trust me, I get the wild streak from my dad. More details later ;)

Judicious Mis-use*......

....of work space- Blogging :)

*Ah! The pleasure of coining an oxymoron ;)