What, just WHAT is the necessity for marriage for a 23-year old girl?I'm perfectly normal, happy and content with the life I have. Ok, maybe not perfectly normal- there's no such thing as perfect anyway. Uh, maybe not totally happy- everyone has their fair share of worries and well, maybe not entirely content as well- I mean, tell me one person who doesn't wish for 'just a little more'! Oh, forget that, that's not the point! I don't understand why people around me- those nosy relatives, who are never there when you need them but alwayz around to cause trouble, have somehow succeeded in brain-washing my dear darling parents into getting me married! Damn them and the astrologers who said I'd get married by 2008!
To top it all, I'm single, which makes me ineligible for a 'love-marriage'. Not that I want to and not that I trust myself to find my own, but I CANNOT go through the entire pathetic, hypocritical, judgemental process of an 'arranged-marriage'. I find it prettyyyy embarassing that I am now officially registered on bharatmatrimony.com and keralamatrimony.com, thanks to my mixed lineage (Now I've got something to fill up that 'most embarassing moment' slot in slam books n stuff).
Horoscope matching, seeing photos, meeting, talking, unnecessary questions on my height, weight, complexion etc etc and more etc- God, I can't even imagine it all! And its happening- right here, right now. All the details on the website aren't me. Very fair, very intelligent, very beautiful, very......My Dad just loves me too much and I guess the love just overflowed in his description of me. Imagine them coming in and seeing a medium complexion, tall, fat, normal looking girl with brownish hair (and red and gold here n there), a tattoo (that can't be seen, ofcourse and actually, can't be known as well), 3 piercings on one ear and more blah??? Isn't that (to them)...blasphemy...???
I'm not ready for marriage. I'm young, not ambitious maybe, but yet I don't wanna be awife/ daughter-in-law etc so soon. And most importantly? I just can't imagine, not even for a sec, having to leave my parents. I mean, Dolz just got married man. My parents need me. They can't manage alone. I just love them way too much to think of being away. I wanna be Daddy's little girl alwayz...ALWAYZ... *sniff* Yea, I'm crying, yea I'm being childish, yea I'm being silly, but I can't help it. I can't stop feeling what I feel, can I? Damn, its difficult to see through blurry eyes.
All I can do is just wait and watch. I trust my parents not to push me into something I don't want, so I guess it isn't gonna be allll that bad. The choice is still mine. And if I say no, no it is.
Man, Why (the fuck) couldn't I have just been lucky in love...?
Nov 20, 2007
Why me? Why NOW?
Scribbled by Preeti at 10:05 PM
Labels: baring-the-soul, frustration, marriage..?, woes
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17 comments:
Well, I have been thru this many a times.. I am sure your father has described as you are.. I dont understand, why the dash you wont accept the facts.. I m tired of telling you to "grow up"
You can be "daddy's lil girl" even if you re married.. nothing can stop you from that.. Just that there you will also be "somebody's lil darlin wife" too.. is it not wonderful??
And, for being not ready.. well, most ppl are not ready, however, as time flies, all wud get used to it..
You're not ineligible.. you dun want to take risks after bein thru lot of bad times.. i guess you ought to try arranged marriage..
Well, without questioning you, how can one know about you? Horoscope has bee our year old traditions..
And lastly, you have an option to say no.. Not many people have parents like that. Be happy mad gurl..
Regards
TM
yeahhhhh
understandble....but then as i keep tln u agen n agen n agen...they cnt/wnt wna force u in2 sumthin u dnt wnt na.....jus wait n watch.....i dno wat else to say...i kno ur wndrn y i hd to comment cuz its more or less the same as wat i keep tln u....i cant think of nethin else.....dnt wry too much...no one knows watl happen.....(does dat make it even worse?!)....i jus cant imagine u getn married:(...(i kno wat ur thinkin is, u urself r nt able to imagine watz goin on).....newayz....i think im blabbrn too much.....bout the lucky in luv part babez, its the guys who hav to tell dat...ppl who are not lucky enuf to b wit u...cuz ur jus wayyyy toooooo awesum.....so jus keep prayin watver happnz shud happn 4 gud....happys endings???? life abhi bhi bohoth baakhi hai meri dost!!hahahahahaha...
tonz of luv
urs alwayz
ruby
wow wow wow... my lil gurl is growing up isnt she? *sigh* just seems like yesterday, we were born (:P) and neighbours in Um al hasaam..et all...
hehe...you know sweetie, I can empathise a hundered percent if not more cos my parents have gone haywire too...and to make things worse they ve posted some pass-port size photo of mine in which I look like I've just got off of the bed :P
Anyways....like they say, our days are numbered ;)
Keep posting on the developments :D
hey babe... plz.. welcome to the club.... im in the same soup... and man.. doesnt it suck????? i agree wth u though for entirely different reasons... i get freaked out whn i thnk i have to live wth a guy.. and manage his family also... didnt i hav my parents n relatives to put up wth for soooo long? hmmmm
lucky in love? babes... trust me... jus falling in love doesnt make thngs any simpler... take it from me.. it most of the times only complicates thngs... much much more than u cud hav ever imagined... being sngle is a bliss... loving is ecstasy... but the whole process of marriage is cruel... it brings to back the harsh harsh harsh world... whr every1 only cares abt wht they thnk...
hmmm whtever...
Preeti,
I do hope - and reckon- that when you say no, it is a no! I guess there are not a lot of parents in our part of the world who are thus magnanimous. I am of course not making good-bad-okay judgements (for who am I to judge, based on the bigoted prejudices of my generation, very convincing to me, people of the yesteryear for whom their credos are just as convincing?) but I do hate - and I mean ABHOR - this whole sh**** rigmarole of being paraded - really and virtually! Check out an earlier post for my not-so-nice sentiments in this regard!
About the eternal, as it were, tug-of-war between Love and Arranged Marriages - I would prefer to remain noncommital and definitely not choose to take sides: it is not as if Love Marriage has all the plusses (hey, I am not saying you meant anything as such; I am just testing the entire marriage ground for perspectives, ok?) and Arranged Marriage all the minuses. If that were so, we would have had more break-ups/divorces than we did during our parents' times, in spite of the tightly knit - conservative - family units, which were in place.
But there is one rather filthy trait, which arranged marriages of today have inherited from the past (which makes it, rightly appear villainous to youngsters -also to men who do not fit into the three-lettered abbreviation in terms of their ideology): the concept of being made an "exhibit" where - sorry, should you find this a little strong - where statistics, which surround life, matter more than Heart, which life itself! That women are doubly marginalised even in this so-called glitzy marriage arrangements is something to be enraged about INDEED- applause for having brought that out in your post!
With regard to you Mademoiselle Preeti, I reckon you are mature enough to take a call on certain things - so I will not go into the proverbially Srini-an advice rains... ROTFL! Suffices to say that whenever you make a choice, perceive as much of the path it will lead to in a pellucid manner and then make it so that no shock is rude for you and you can eventually feel at home with yourself. At the end of the day, worries are consequences not of problems but subjective impressions they seem to cast!
Sorry for a comment as big as the post... just couldn't control my hands or the keys... lol.
Take care, hope whatever happens leads you to "inner happiness!"
Cheers!
S
yOU hav a helluva time on ya hands.. but sumthyn tells me ya want sumthyn 2 happen soon.. i dunno y.. [:)] neways make ya choice in ya own time, cos i've byn thru this marriage tirade for years nw, n its no big deal. But it cud be a big deal if this is the possible change you yaself are lookin out 4.. be open.. ya have nuttin 2 lose..n yA HAEV parentz who will always keep ya best interests in mind..
ya neva know wat ya cum across. keep the smile.. n, we're all awayz wyd ya[:)]
Technosanta: hehe...i luv myself for makin up new namez for u :D n yea, im juz hopin to be daddy's lil girl alwayz...
hey windz:keepin my fingerz crossed n prayin real hard gurl :)
mayth: et tu..? hehe...yea seriously, our dayz r numbered..awww :(
prathi: romba nondu poi pesina thapeee illa, it doesn't make u negative...ur juz brave enuf to face the truth... :)
srini: commentz longer than the post r welcome too! hehe...i dint gt into the eternal struggle betwn arranged n luv marriagez cuz tatz an ocean...n i dint hv the patience to tink it out n type it :D im glad u brought out ur views :)
janie: yup u guyz r alwayz wit me...thru the curfew n it all..hahahahahehehehe!!! uv no choice ;)
luv ya alll tonz!
hmmmmm.......we wont just let u get married to some dud.........the guy would obviously be worthy of u and love u for who u r..have no fear when dolly is here....i will make sure u get the best guy u can!!! and i'm sure u will be very very happy!!!
..n btw, you're tagged! (recent developments from blog world)
hey preetz!...guess what....sudarshan is facing the same dilemma too!...but he is fighting fire with fire ;)..he put forward unrealisable conditions for marriage....like...shud be a doctor, in the US....blah blah blah!...food for thought? :D
nice...
like it goes the azhagiya tamizh magan song.. i'm trying to imagine...
"karpoora kannigaye vaaraai..."
nice post BTW... it eventually boils down to whats written on ur forehead... the beauty of it all is.. u cant choose when u want to get committed with someone if not arranged.. i mean 'love' has to happen they say... my life is equally less 'happening'.. and yeah my forehead!
I think you are not lucky cauze I have decided to stick to Tam Iyers;).
They dont call me Mr. Modest for no reason:).
I am surprised. You are pretty, at least going by the photo in . And you write good English. I think thought thats all it took to woo a guy. Maybe its the tatoo.
-Ok
Hmmm.. you seem to have a fairly entertaining blog.
-Ok
heya doll...thnx buj...i really need the reassurance!itz upto u to handle dad n mum! luvvvv ya!
mayth...another TAG!i think im beginnin to like em :D
jag...sudarshanz stuck too huh? i dnt wanna pose too many conditions...makes me seem pricey n my mumz constantly remindin me im nt sme 'special' catch! hehe...
hey vijay...long time! thnx for droppin by....talk abt watz written on the forehead and i think god ws cranky while writin mine! dammit!
OK- juz wish it wr tat easy to gt a guy...i doubt itz the tattoo cuz it isnt visible...besidez...tis is me...so if tatz watz stoppin those guyz frm comin forward, im glad! hehe...n im gna tke the pretty part as a compliment! thnx for droppin by!
sweetss u really dont have to worry.. yeh i know its not easy to get a guy but then nothing comes easy does it..
just relax and enjoy how much u can.. and how knows when u r relaxing.. a guy might come along and u might actually fall in love..
hehe am optimistic as ever.. cant help it..
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