Star-ry Eyed

Warning: Profundities ahead. In abundance.

Another month in the passing. It's so weird to imagine that this new month actually signifies that half the year has gone by. The Birthday season has begun. The first half of the year, sparing March, is not that packed. But the second half has Birthdays and festivities galore. Soon my meagre monthly wages would be spent merely on gifts and party-planning. And ofcourse, forget not that MY birthday is coming soon. The one day that I look forward to every year, no matter if it means I'm growing older.

I don't know why I get the feeling this year is gonna be different. If I could give it a name, it would probably be "The Year of Changes". Because deep down somewhere I feel things are gonna change from now. And there's nothing I or anyone can do about it because, I believe, it's already pre-set. Yes, I'm talking about Destiny.

I know a lot of you out there won't agree with a word of what I've got to say. But I'm a firm believer in Destiny, Fate, Karma and the likes; Astrology not included. (Though it does arouse my curiosity quite a bit, and I have consulted astrologers because I just 'wanted to know'). I think my life has already been etched. I'm meant to be where I am, doing what I am doing. Silly, you think? My Dad certainly thinks so. He always tells me we can change our Destiny. But how can we change something we don't know anything about? And even if we try to alter a situation that seems likely to happen, THAT in itself was probably meant to be...?

A lot of things have led me to reiterate this belief. There were soooo many times when I was on the brink of getting into something extremely dangerous, and I was saved just in the nick of time. I never looked at it in the right sense intitally. I used to lament and bemoan my fate, till from somewhere the truth would be in my face and I would do nothing but sit and wonder just HOW things would've been hadn't I gotten out - hurt but unscathed.

This has made me positive. Because when something goes wrong, I have the strength to accept it and expect happier times ahead. Whatever happens, happens for a reason and for the good. Besides, I'm certain of one thing - I have never wronged anyone intentionally and so my current low is just fair-play. It's really helped me get a better grip of life. It's my right hand excuse - That I am the way I am because I'm meant to be the way I am (I know quite a few people who are gonna smirk for this :) Ok, now, enough!).

I'm not and have never forced this on anybody. This is how I look at things and it keeps me happy thinking this way. For some, the belief in one's self is stronger, the belief that they rule their life is what drives them. So be it. As for me, I'm a simple, lazy girl - not taking blame for my mistakes - instead accounting it to what's written on my forehead - just keeping up with it's zigzag course - and trying to be happy through it all.

P.S: 1. I guess I probably sound like a Grandmother, but it's just me being starry eyed :*)
2. You know what I just realized? That my current header has a slight Cosmic tinge to it...Tee hee!

Sorry seems to be the hardest word!

Everyone makes mistakes. Come on, to Err is Human after all, right? But what if you make the same (or any) mistake over and over again? Are you to be forgiven? Or, more precisely, am I to be forgiven?

I seem to have a mental and verbal block when it comes to mouthing the word 'Sorry'. I actually gave a 15 min lecture to Prathi recently on why I feel saying sorry is total bullshit. My arguement...? That there's no point in saying sorry once the damage is done. I think it adds insult to injury. Like- "I'm sorry I said you were a fat pig". "Oh, I'm soooo sorry I made fun of your teeth, hair, eyes and nose the other day". "Oops, sorry for stepping on your freshly pedicured feet with my freshly soiled (& hard soled) shoes". I mean, what's the point? Does saying sorry really assuage that moment of pain/grief of whatever?

It's not like I don't say sorry at all. It just takes me a while to say it like I mean it. I need to feel the need to say it. To feel that I've done something wrong. I equate saying sorry to melodrama. Because the word alone is never enough and it has to be supported by explanations. And I suck at it. My (copyrighted) explanation for anything would be,"This is me. This is how I am. Period". Which obviously is never a strong enough reason for what I did, and definitely never understood by the other party. Most times, I just say it because I have to. Like a template. To appease the situation before it blows out of proportion. Like that pinch of sugar/salt you add to take the fizz outta aerated drinks.

I also get irritated when someone says sorry. 1 sorry is definitely not equal to 1 liter of saline water. And 1 sorry is definitely not equal to @%^&* joules of energy spent bawling like a mad woman! But if it is hurled at me, it wouldn't elicit more than an "Uh, ok. Because I don't know whether to say it's ok, or it's not ok or...what? I don't know!

And so, if and when I do say a sorry and it is accompanied by a decent-sounding explanation, you can be sure it means I'm really, totally, absolutely sorry. Like from the bottom-most bottom of my big heart. From every artery, vein, auricle and ventricle of my heart. You get it right?

Now, I'm gonna do something pretty dumb. I'm gonna use this post to apologize to someone I've NEVER said sorry to till now. For all the pain and hurt I have caused. Sooooooo many things I wish I could go back in time and Ctrl+Z!

That person is 'me'. This apology is for:
1. Hurting myself over and over again.
2. Unecessary, unwanted quanitities of tears shed.
3. Making stupid decisions (in the past and now) inspite of knowing that it wouldn't work out.
4. And most recently, for using the eye make-up remover unjudiciously, knowing that I'm allergic to it, resulting in, like obvious, a scab-like under-eye allergy.

I sincerely hope that I shall be forgiven by my Divine Self.

P.S: 1. Don't reach out for the phone to call the asylum. Don't worry, I certainly do not suffer from "Multiple-personality disorder". This is just me. This is just how I am ;)

2. If it seems like I've contradicted myself somewhere there, it maybe so, because my thoughts on this aren't all that clear, even to me.

3. I started this post day before yesterday during one of my usual low moments. I did something stupid again and I really felt like saying sorry (to myself) for letting myself go through those shitty emotions and all that crazy pain. But then, the whole of yesterday, I was doing a lot better and I didn't feel like going ahead with it. But then again today I got reminded of what I did and so here it is, a full-blown apology note to myself! [Confused...??? :D]

4. Uh, I was supposed to add another P.S, don't remember it now :D

BLuSh, CrUSh and ALL that MuSh!

Update: Note to Public- I am NOT getting married YET. What I meant by arranged marriage time is that, my parents have been bitten by the 'kalyanam virus' and decided enough is enough and wanna push me out. Considering poor lil me has noone to show-off to my parents as 'the man', I'm left with lil choice but to say ok to the entire (pathetic) process! And the process has just started. Will definitely keep you all updated. So please, I'm not aunty, YET! :(

As much as I have tried denying it, as much as I hate accepting it, I blush. At the drop of a hat. Uhh, actually a name. Ask Jane. She'd tell you. Cuz she's the first one to figure it out yearz back. I blush when you mention certain names. I don't know if my complexion allows me to turn red, but if it did, I would. Beet red. That sudden rush of blood to my face, causing a flush that's called a blush when you mention the name of a crush that makes my insides go mush!

Honestly...? I must admit I don't know if I know what love is. As in, the real love or true love or whatever. I mean, there may have been 5 guyz in my life, but they were all the wrong ones. Only 2 of them meant something. The 1st one cuz that was the longest and the 3rd cuz he treated me the best. In the 1st case, I was wayyyyyyy too young when I was in it. I was more in love with the 'idea of being in love', than in love itself. Carried away, quixotic, all that. And then reality struck. The other 3 were friends, on the verge of becoming more. Professed their love for me and I was in the confused,"Hmmm, he's a nice guy. And a great friend. Maybe he's the one...???" state. But nope, they weren't. Cuz they just weren't genuine. And I found that out later, luckily before things went further. Now, with the 3rd guy, everything was perfect. Like in every-fucking- possible way. The real deal and then wham!it was over (Short and sweet...?) As I did mention in My 10 most, he passed away a year later and the only explanation I see for us breaking up was that God willed that way. To save me the trouble of having to deal with the grief of him going away that way.

Ok, this is sooo not meant to be sad! So lets regress to the basic point - Blushing and crushing and mushing! (henceforth BCM). I may not know what love is but what I do know is that, to blush, it doesn't have to be love. Could be that cute guy passing by. Or, a call from a guy I really like. I even blush when people make fun of me with some random guy! I have this smile stuck on my face -Colgate style - 32 teeth, cheek-to-cheek (or rather whatever my tiny lips would allow) and thanks to Jane's publicity, everyone I know, knows it now. And I hate it! I hate that I blush and I hate it that I'm so readable!

I really am not all that romantic a person. I'm not in denial here. I really am not that extra mushy,'oh my baby baby' kinda person. I don't mind being called that way. But reciprocating it is a different ball game. I love flowers and gifts and all that. But am not much of the candle-light dinner type. I would prefer to go to a movie (I actually went for Marudhamalai!), normal dinners (as long as there's food!) or even coffee (the drinking kinds, d-u-h).

I don't feel the need to hype every occassion (but for a birthday) and disappoint/get disappointed when high riding expectations aren't met. The simple things matter to me. You know, simple caring gestures go a longggg way in making me feel secure rather than mile-long speeches professing undying, unrequitted love and its likes. Everytime I've heard it, I was left stupefied at how people could actually say stuff like that. My reply:
1. Aloud: "Aww, that's sooo sweet!"
2. In the confines of my mind, "Naa already 3 timez kaadhu kuthiyachu pa! (Translation: I've already pierced my ears thrice. Uhmm, doesn't make sense in English, so forget it)

And now it's arranged marriage time. I'm not gonna get into my woes on that but my sentiments are: Unknown guy = extra low levels of BCM. Friends say that'd change and things will get all happy, happy and al. But, I can't help but feel doubtful now. Hmmm, all I can do is wait and watch. Let's see, pakalam, dekhte hain, mitteyou!

Sooooooooooo...Temme guyz, what's your take on all this? What makes you BLuSh, CrUSh and ALL that MuSh!?

P.S: 1. I'd especially like to hear from Mayth aunty on this. If you don't mind :)
2. I take this opportunity to profess my unconditional love for my Best Bosom Buddies, my Darlin Dido Dolz & Ultimate Superstar Pp ;) And I accept your respective speeches, and I promise my 'inner voice' is silent through it :D I have a crush on you guyz man ;)

Excuse ME? Just who are YOU to tell ME that?!?

So much of bickering, so much of judging, so much of bitching in the air. And it's all so over- whelming to think and react to it. Yes, I'm talking about nasty statements, hurtful words and watchamacallit- Criticism, with a capital C.

For once, this post isn't instigated by some recent personal experience (Thankfully, nothing mean has been said against me recently..hehe..Uhmmm, ofcourse I'm discounting the 'unmentionable terminology' my mum directs at me everyday!). I'm gonna try and make this an objective post. On criticism, judgemental-ism and the likes. That faint line between well and ill intentioned comments that's there and yet, not quite. And I'd like to know how y'all react to it.

A recent post by Keshi on her favourite Indians caused a huge commotion in her comments section. People were telling her who she should've included and who she shouldn't have. I mean, seriously, do they even know what they're saying? As she rightly said, it was a list of HER favourite Indians and she likes them cuz she likes them. She doesn't need to explain it out to the world? If they've got an opinion, state it. Not everyone likes the same things and that's understandable. But to go on and belittle her choice and her and blah blah, that's a little too much, don't you think?

I'm an extremeeeellllyyyy sensitive person, unfortunately, and am pathetic with criticism (All those Zodiac sign thingies say that it's a Cancerian trait. And so, I'm gonna blame it on that) Be it positive or negative, I'd take it to be negative. If my mum tells me I need to lose weight, I think,"She hates me. She loves Dolls more cuz she's thinner". (Not kidding, that's what I think) If Dad says I could've probably gotten better marks if I worked a little harder, I'd think,"Well, he hates me too. I should probably just run away!" And I'd extrapolate those thoughts to the rest of the World hating me and feel like a nobody at the end of it! [Ultimate result: Depressed blogs ;)]

My mind pretty much shuts-down when I'm the victim of any form of scrutiny. Rationality takes a back seat and my defensive mode kicks in. No matter what the other person is saying. Even if implementing what they say is gonna transform into an angel overnight. But then, that's me.

There are those who've got a fuck-all attitude and I seriously admire that. I'm in awe of those who can brush aside such issues and go on like noone's said a thing. This is probably one thing we gotta learn from celebrities. Being in the hot-seat all the time, every move of theirs being scrutinized and publicized, they really need to have a lot of endurance to get through with it all.

I don't know if i've digressed somewhere. I've read and re-read what I've written to try and add a lil more sense to it but...not happening. So I'm gonna stop now. But not before asking all of you to tell me how you'd react to criticism- constructive or destructive.

P.S: 1. The title is indirectly linked to the post. A common retort to such comments. Just incase anyone wanted to know :)
2. @OK: If your reading this, my sensitivities should probably explain why I gave you that unwanted, extra long comment in reaction to your meaningfully harmless comment. Just struck a wrong chord somewhere deep within. My apologies!

I NEED to know now...Does it really hurt...?

Not love. Not breaking up. Not tattoos or peircings. What I wanna know is - Does it really hurt...to SMILE...?

My parents have taught me to be pleasant and polite. And being all full of manners as I am (atleast I try!), I smile at people I know. Not necessarily a buddy or the one-who-sits-beside me. I mean, could be someone on the same floor. There is this one girl at work, whom I see pretty often. I smile at her when I see her and what does she do...? Pass me by like I don't even exist! (This has happened,like, thrice)I mean, it's technically impossible to miss me, you know, thanks to my 'towering personality' (= huge). Besides, I was looking straight at her and smiling. And so, she cannot even use the pathetic excuse that I was probably smiling at the person behind her (or maybe she thought it was the cupboard...?or the wall perhaps...?) Doesn't anyone reciprocate niceties anymore?

She's not the only one. Me and Ruby joint aerobics recently. We were late (as usual) for our first class and the instructor told us to join the crowd and follow suit. We were all left feet and tripping and I looked at the girl in front and smiled sheepishly. She, inturn, threw me this disinterested, 'I'm-too-busy-to-waste-time-smiling' expression! (Adding insult to injury is the fact that she's as thin as a stick of asparagus while I'm that huffing, puffing plump tomato) Thankfully, there was another nice lady who just asked us to hang in there till the end.

With medical reports (eg: Smiling involves just 17 facial muscles and...), poems (eg: Smiling is a merry thing, blah blah blah"), songs (Remember Boyzone's biggest hit: Words, which began with-Smile, an everlasting smile.......??") and the likes of Hallmark/Archies coming up with the 'Smiley' (that cute, yellow thing on cards/keychains/anything & everything) , the entire 'Smile' concept is pretty much in your face. And so, I'm gonna assume the non-smiling kinds are extremely ignorant people with no life. Living in an igloo without a window and no humans around => Zilch people skills.

Or maybe I'm just ancient. Maybe being grumpy is in and I never realized. Well, the lean, mean men have always been considered hot. You know, the 'bad boy' image and all. Maybe that works for women as well.....? Maybe it's better. Would save guys the effort of saying those corny lines like "Your smile just killed me" or "I love the way your eyes light up when you smile" etc. Or maybe, they'd just change them and go, "Your frown just scared the shit outta me" or "Your dead pan eyes and frigid expression just turn me on".

Whatever maybe, a smile works for me. Lifts me up to smile and be smiled at. What do you think?

Million $ quote: "To Smile or not to Smile. That is the question" (by Will.I.A'int Shakespreeti)

P.S: Update: Ever since I've written this post (like 30 min ago), I've seen Girl#1 twice and I couldn't help but smile so hard, I looked sillier than the Cheshire Cat in 'Alice in Wonderland'!

M.E = Mount Everest!

I've alwayz wanted to go somewhere high up, especially high up on the Everest. But I never thought it would ever happen! Until last week.....

3 days last week. Nov 1,2,3 2007 - 3 amazing days when I experienced the heights of heights. And loved it totally! :) The Mount Everest part was Ryan's. When I told him I was high, he joked I was Mount Everest. And I thought it was hilarious and soooo true! But yea, I was up there. Free floating and wow-ed. Looking down at all those tiny miracles around me happen- Prathi losing her 'single' status, Ruby partying along with us, Janie and Satti joining us late-nite, AJ down from Pune! Whatever happened after that doesn't matter. The fights, the abrupt ending, the DJ's crappy excuse, I'm just glad I got to look at the world from up there, through rose-tinted glasses- atleast while it lasted :)

The worst part of a high, is the accompanying low. And moreso, the emotional one!I actually said a lotta senti stuff I never imagined I would. Oh crap!

P.S: Pardon the evasiveness but I guess it isn't really rocket science to guess what I'm talking about. And Satti- nope I'm not a compulsive craver of the high-ness. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to break free and let your hair down. And trust me, I get the wild streak from my dad. More details later ;)

The Cult of the IBCDs...

I am alwayz one to honour those who inspire my writings. This time,though, it's a personal request from a very special person- my very dearest Priya Didz. I am pretty over whelmed that she wanted me to write on this and clear a lot of misconceptions in the Indian mind. Given this challenge, I've decided to take my time in writing it because I want it to come out right. Don't want to disappoint. This may be a bit long. I'm not sure. Pardon me if it is! So, here goes....

Scene 1: "Ayyy, Beee, Ceee, Deee, Eee, F, Geee, Eych, Aiii, Jeyyy, Keiii.....Dubba-u,X, Y,Zeeeeee" - Perplexed? Sound weird like seagulls squawking? These were the sounds that wafted down and into our ears as me and Ruby walked into the tiny space we called 'office'. Between uncontrollable bouts of laughter, we realized that those utterances were actually 'vocal lessons' at the call center overhead! A classroom of different mother-tongued Indians were being tongue-washed,i.e, they were being taught the U.S.An way of speaking- rolled tongue, no- stress wording peppered with an easy-going and chirpy tone to enter into the make-believe world of Business Process Outsourcing, popularly known as B.P.O. They had a reason to be there. It was their JOB, their source of income, which required them to learn to talk 'right' if they have to be understood by their customers. Understable?Well, atleast compared to Scene2.

Scene 2: Vin: "Dai Arjun, Machan, Variya poi Chennai 600028 pakalam?" [Translation: Dude, Wanna go watch the latest tamil flick, Chennai 600028?]
Arjun: " Hey no man! No Tamil movies for me! Let's watch some English movie. That's where allllllll the action is, if u know what I mean! ;) "

Scene 3: Dad: " So, did you send in your applications? Try aiming for Harvard or Princeton or the likes. Atleast then you can into some good enough university."
Shaan: " Uh..yea Dad...I'm doing just that!" [Thinks: Man!I just wanna get away from home. Who cares which university I get into. It's all about the freedom and the gori babes!Sigh!]

Scene 4: Nita: "EEEEWWW!! Check out his shoes? Are they,like, cheesy or what?"
Tina: "Hehe, yea, Bata I think ;) hehehehe"
Nita: "Forget him, look!It's Shaan. He's the coolest dude EVER, GAP jeans and all!"
Tina: "Yeaaaaa!!!WOW! I could,like, look at him all day,y'know!"

Time out!Let me use this opportunity to introduce the protagonists of this blog, the new cult of IBCDs. The cool, sassy, West-aping breed of Indian Born Confused Desi's. Nope, you don't have to read the tag again. I didn't mis-word it. I do mean IBCD and not the ABCDs (I'm sure you all know the expansion of this one whether or not you know what NATO stands for!). The hype about them is now history. Come on, they have a right to be confused. Their brown skins can be counted by the fingers amongst a mob of black and white (And yellow and red and pink...No racism implied). They are born Americans but are made to follow 'values' set by their traditionally moralled, Hard-Rock t-shirt wearing, Carnatic music listening and oooh yea, beer- guzzling parents. Time and again they are reminded of their Indian roots and that they must behave accordingly. For those poorlings who haven't set their eyes on the Indian scenario yet, for whom Indian-ness starts & ends with their name, all this pressure can be difficult to handle and it is O.K for them to be bogged down. On the other hand, we have the bludgeoning cult I talk about....

After the plague, the most widespread epidemic to have hit India would have to be Globalization & Liberalization. Along with improving trade, commerce and relations with the West, it also brought with it Western ideologies and more of an exposure to their ways of life. The scenarios viewed in movies, sit-coms etched themselves deeper into the Gen-X of India and they realized that they have been un-cool all along. I mean,now, Nike is in and Bata is out. Who knows what a Dosa means, unless ofcourse your talkin about 'rice pancakes'. Yea, I may be exaggerating a bit, but it does emphasize the matter at hand, doesn't it? Nothing could be more embarassing than speaking in one's mother tongue. Hence, the rise in RJs who talk with such a put-on Tamil accent, it takes a moment to comprehend their babble!

I personally know more than a handful of kids, I'm talking in their early teens, who are already stalwarts in the dating scene. Being without a 'short-term better half' is unthinkable for them. We now have a bunch of pre-mature, know-it-all 'teeny boppers' mobbin everyplace in pairs! For this section,who have grown up listening to their mother's thalaattu, strains of Suprabhatham floating in from somewhere in the neighbourhood and the only 'colour variation' known would be different shades of brown, confusion, in any form other than academic, should be non-existant.

It is not that I am against Westernization. I'm glad India is moving away from the image of being the 'Land of Snake Charmers' to being in the running for the next biggest Super power. I'm glad Education is now valued more than ever before and elegance is slowly replacing uncouth. It is what Indians think is Western that is bothering. I somewhere feel we Indians aren't getting the picture right. The USA is viewed as a place where culture is unheard of, morals and values are gibberish, sex is in the open, illegal is legal and yet it is the place to be.Because in India, everything cool is taboo, everything is viewed with utmost critical skepticism and it is all so over-whelming at times that they yearn to be free from it all

What they do not see, however, is the America of the Americans, of those innumerable hordes of people who flocked to the "Land of Opportunities" and made it their home. This is the nation where people are so proud to be American, no matter what their origin. ABCDs, BBCEs or whatever acronym formed by permuation & combination of the letters in the English alphabet, salute the blue and red flag unanimously because it gave them the freedom to be who they are now.In India, if you've got a dream, can it. Parental & social acceptance is above all. You can forget being an art major or a history buff, especially if 'professional studies' is the only choice you have to make your career. And for those who do dream big, make it big- ABROAD. I'm not trying to drive home the 'patriotic theme'. All I'm saying is that it is unnerving to see flocks of youngsters filtering out the Western essence to suit themselves and using it as an excuse to change themselves.

As I end, I just want to say: America does have Culture- one that is Liberalistic, it does have Morals- that are Individualistic and it does have Values- Pragmatic values. THAT- is True Blue America, baby!

Now, aren't we all a part of The Cult of the IBCDs???? I mean, Indian Born CLEAR Desis!! ;)

P.S: Didz, Is it all right? I hope it is!

That Intricate Labyrinth called M.E.M.O.R.Y.....

From time immemorial, there has been a constant struggle between religion & science as to how the most intelligent species on this planet, MAN, originated.... One school of thought believes it is God who made Man and the other assertively says that it involves a series of micro-biological and chemical processes...i dont know what to think cuz i am religious and yet, like to believe that i am practical too....to me, the ideal solution is a balance of the 2... that way, neither side would be offended....God formulated the blue-print of HOW the universe would be formed and left the rest to science....There, that's my explanation....This blog, however, does not aim at gettin into the intricate details of THAT process...I juz wanna talk abt one such awe-inspirin feature of the human being, his MEMORY.....

Doesn't it amaze you how we remember the smallest of details that occured years ago? Don't you wonder how you remember the face of someone you met as a child? Well, isn't it plain amazing that we simply "Remember" ??? Agreed, we do also "forget" some or most of what we have seen and heard before....That would probably be cuz no system is 100% efficient! [Besides, it has afterall been said, To Err Is Human, which could also be interpreted as, To Forget is Human :) ]

Iv alwayz wondered where all this information gets stored, how is it that somethings "remind" you of somethin else, how smells can translate into a mental image ( Everytime i pick up the aroma of pizza, a fat- filled cheesy,delicious slice instantly pops into my mind...!) Certain recalls also have emotions associated with them...like when i think of pizza, i feel hungry n then,automatically, guilt!

I decided to juz read a lil bit about this so i could understand it....All of what i read was so intriguing & detailed( courtesy: Google) that i juz HAD to share it to all of u out there, in a way that i have understood it :)

We do not store entire instances in our mind,i.e., it is not a package deal...Each aspect of an instance, the emotions, the faces, the location, the smells...EACH get stored in separate pockets in different areas of the brain...Those aspects that have in some way affected us, that we wish to retain, get stored...rememberin any one of these would trigger a path in the brain that would bring all of these together....So, essentially, it works backwards....u think of somethin, the pulse goes back and gets images etc from the various areas and it comes to u.... eg: when i think of my last bday, first an image of me comes to my mind (not a pretty pic though) n then slowly, pizza hut...then the long table...as i walk in, the faces of my friends....the cake...now i feel embarassment (cuz i had to stand up on the seat and, get this, 'announce' to all that it was my bday!!!) Slowly the entire day comes rushin in....all in a matter of milliseconds!! Even dreams are a result of memory...Id rather not get into that now...This would turn out to be more of a psychology report then!

Everytime i close my eyes, a million images close in.....random images.....faces, smiles, colours, places...it is over whelmin! Itz a maze out there...intricately woven...and i find myself gettin lost in it...Some memories i wish to keep with me forever, others i pray i could just forget....

Through all this, i also realize there is somethin i want from all of you... that whatever may happen in the future, I wish to alwayz be a part of That Intricate Labyrinth called (your) M.E.M.O.R.Y.....