Block and Tackle

Oh please, don't get silly, we are NOT gonna play games on my blog. You get that? Huh? Ok??

Uhmm, I'm sorry I snapped out like that. I have a reason - a proper, justified, totally-makes-sense explanation. The juices aren't flowing, the connection isn't there- it's short-circuited perhaps? Some evil person has put an evil hex on me, thanks to which, a strange something is wedged in between my thoughts and my fingers, thus breaking that connection, thereby resulting in lack of flow of thoughts. See how complicated I made that sound? See how I just used exactly 40 words to desribe what can simply be said in 4 words- I have writer's block. See how my mind is thinking 4 words but conveying them 10 times? You see???

I've been reading this over and over at many others' blogs- xh, Drenched, Busygurl - but I was always like,"Ha! Fat chance of that happening to me!" I guess I 'thought' a bit too early. And now the spell has started taking effect. Everytime I think of writing, nothing pops up! And I thought it was easy :(

It just doesn't feel right not to write. Thankfully, inspiration came in the form of a comment! In my previous post, C R D had mentioned How Relatives say the Darndest (read: nerve-wrackingly-annoyingest) Things. I found that sooo totally true and so I decided to write about a few such irrelevant dialogues spoken when there was absolutely no need for it to be spoken. (that's what irrelevant means right? Now you see what I mean???)

Situation 1: When Mom was in the ICCU after her Angioplasty, this one class mate of mine, who sadly lost his Mom to heart-attack a few years earlier, held on to my Mom's feet crying and said,"Aunty, meri mummy bhi heart-attack se hi mari thi". The word to note is "bhi". Thankfully, she was partially conscious and her knowledge of hindi isn't extensive. But she still managed to remember it a while later and ask me about it!

Situation 2: A Friend's wedding last week. Now, this is hearsay, for I wasn't there when this happened. Apparently a 'cousin' of the bride came upto her when she was getting ready for her big moment and told her,"Ippo dan paaka ponnu madri iruke (Only now you look like a girl). Much better than your dumb jeans and t-shirts in which your ass protrudes out". Awww, now isn't that just the sweetest thing to say???

Situation 3: A family friend's recent visit home. (Unfortunately) I was caught alone with the uncle, just when I wanted to catch some sleep. Nice uncle really, he was earnestly giving me advice on "How to Choose the Right Guy in 5 minutes - Arranged Marriage Style". Mom had gone out and happened to call right then and I gave the phone to Uncle to talk to her. And as they spoke, I guess she mentioned that Dad recently had a giddy spell for Godknowswhatever reason. An absolutely flabbergasted uncle said,"Oh! That isn't good, I say! Please ask him to get it checked, I say! Because, sudden fainting means either:
1. He has a heart problem
2. The brain stem has some problem and could result in haemmorhage
3. His spinal cord has some issue OR
4. Could be nothing.
So please be careful".(Did I mention he's not a Doctor...??) I'm surprised Mom didn't faint on the other end of the phone. (He started off the conversation by asking her why she sounded breathless and how sweating isn't good for a heart patient. He also successfully managed to undo 2 years of our convincing talks with Mum in just under 2 minutes, by telling her,"Heart attacks can come again. Blocks can come again. We are never safe". No comments.)

Situation 4: My Cousin's Class 12 results. A few years back I figured out she's dyslexic and even though the entire family would never get close to understanding the symptoms or her, I stopped asking/ advicing/ pressurising her to 'study'. And so when she got 63% in her 12th boards, I was bordering on elation because, knowing her, it really was no mean task. Heart of hearts I know she was happy with her results (basically passing) too but she couldn't obviously let it be known that she was content with just that much and so she had, no choice but, to cry. Right then, one of her paternal uncles called and said,"63%??? You won't get admission anywhere. And oh, your other cousin xyz got 94%. Bye." and he hung up. Encouragement was his middle name, by the way.

I'm not even claiming to be the Perfect Speaker in all situations or anything. Actually, not even close. The foot-in-mouth syndrome is common but I guess there are certain situations when extra-caution must be taken. If all of us just think before we speak (and that includes me), the World would be a better place to live in.

(You see how how I extrapolated a seemingly simple topic to World Peace..? Damn, I'm losing it. I rest my block)

P.S: 1. For those of you who didn't get my initial outburst, the title is a popular game/ event played at most school and college culturals.
2. Long time since I professed my undying love (on my blog) to BujiBoo, Pp and my Best Friends* - Robo, Janie, Satti, Prathiboo, Andu San, Ani, Rekoo etc. MUAH! *I've included only the Best Friends who read my blogs, the others are loved no less :) Ok, I'm nuts. I'm gonna shut up! :)