TAGGED again!

Heya all! I've been caught by the "tagged" bug again. Thanks again Srini. This one is definitely gonna be difficult cuz it warrants a serious twist of my grey and white matter way, way back in time- and trust me, old age has resulted in my memory being slightly, or rather totally, muddled. Yet, an attempt:

1999: Hmmm... Definitely one of the worst years of my life. Left Bahrain, my parents, shawarma and Um-Al-Hassam to come live in Chennai. No, that isn't the bad part. D.A.V is. Thanks to dad and mum, who felt any good student should belong there, I was 'forced' to join the 'all-girls' school. Unimaginable things happened. I flunked most of my papers, never went to school, was one of the 5 'worst' girls in my class, hit my fingers against the ceiling fan (!!!) , had ligament tears in both my ankles AND became BSNL Mylapore's Best Customer cuz of a telephone bill worth 50k [Not kidding ONE bit]. But, I did manage to meet 4 of my best ever friends through those 2 years of hell- Malar, Karpagavalli, Uthra and Akshu (8 years and still going strong, touchwood). And I also did learn the art of independance. Learnt but haven't mastered it. Yet :)

O.K. Now, to make life a lil easier for me, I'm gonna combine all the previous years and make it common:

1990-1998: Life in Bahrain. [For all of you who are tsk-tsk-ing rite now, I am offering you no respite. You will have to go through with this :) :) Feels like it's pay back time!Hahahaha!!]

The happiest period of my life. [From 1984 onwards itself, actually ;)] And happiest not cuz I was in love or cuz I graduated or I got a job or whatever, but happiest cuz all of that didn't happen. I was just a kid. In love with the smaller things in life. Just kept stuffing my face with all the burgers-pizzas-chips-candy-coke-chocolates-icecreams I could ever eat, never once having to worry about the needle on the weighing scale tipping menacingly to the right-growing love handles-slim fit denims-silver dusted kohl or lipgloss. Details evade me, but I just remember being happy- in my tights and tee, weird curly fringe and those big,pink plastic glasses (which,according to my sis, glowed in the dark!) that covered not just my eyes but literally my entire chubby face as well. I cringe everytime I see myself in those snaps and would never, ever show them to anyone. Hehe.

The best part of that memory, more than the food [yes, there is something that is more important!hehe] is my house. Flat # 34, 3rd floow, Al Fadhel building, Um-al-Hassam. I can visualise every single corner of that beautiful home. The new pink carpets we got in our study room. And the amazing way in which the sunlight used to scatter that pink-ness on the white,white walls. Those big, big balcony doors. Wall-to-wall glass that had a view of, well, the roadside (hehe) but yet, the living room used to be brighttttttt every morning.

Our car [White, ofcourse, cuz of my dad] Our bedroom. The people. It was all so good while it lasted. But all good things have to come to an end and thus, 1999 saw the ending of that. Though I did go back twice every year for vacations, nothing was the same again. Annnddddddd, well, I've let it be. I'm just glad I got the chance to have been in that awesome place which would alwayz, alwayz, alwayz be home to us.

P.S: Srini..!!!MAN!!I admire the fact that you remember so, so much. Awesome! :)

I just HAVE to add these:

Issue #6- The Condolence Talk.

After the **** face, the next thing that bugs the crap outta me (the list of 'Things that bug me' is quite long and the order varies by the second, but yet) is what I call the 'Condolence' Talk. A pissing off day at work and you happen to tell someone that. What do I expect in return? Nothing! Really, all I want is just to tell it out and I don't want to know how 'alright' it is, or how i shouldnt 'worry' or how 'nice' a person I am [not just cuz I know it all already ;)] I don't need/want/expect sympathy. I don't, I don't, I don't. This, by the way, is one of precedents for Issue #1. I'd rather not speak out my woes than to have to listen to a sympathetic out-cry. No, I'm not dying or dead and neither is someone I know. Neither am I depressed or suicidal. So, thank you. Can the lecture.

Issue #7- The Needle-Got-Stuck-On-the-Record!

One day after something happened (by saying 'something' I mean I don't even know what happened!)

The Other: "Are you ok?Are you sure you're ok?Are you positive you're ok?" (over dose of KBC)

Me: "Yes, Yes and Yes."

The Other (yet again, persistence is his/her middle name): Uhhhmm....U sure right?"

Me: @#$%^&

Another day, when some other something happened

The Other: "I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean it"

Me: O.K

The Other (an hour later): "Are you still mad at me?"

Me: No

The Other (a day later): "Hey, well...Uhhh...I'm sorry about the other day. I mean...I didn't, you know, like...mean to...u know...Well, I'm just sorry".

Me: ( *blank*) "What other day????"

Time flies. People move on. Situations change. All in a day. Then Why, just WHY, would I remember some spat or low moment I had days ago. Just appreciate that I'm not miffed enough never to talk again. If I do talk, it means I'm fine. Any reference to the past or digging up that buried hatchet could prove to be fatal.

Issue #8- I don't take hints.

I'm bad with games. Card games, board games, guessing games and especially mind games. And so, it is no wonder that I cannot (also read: will not) read someone's mind??? If there's something bothering you, go on, spill the beans. The low voice, the extra low murmur, the glazed eye or the guilty cough would just go unnoticed. I wouldn't even notice something is wrong. I don't take hints.

Couldn't help but add them :)

Breaking the Sabbatical...

There is no reason for this blog but to break my sabbatical from blogging. It isn't even intended for public reading. I know, I know. I did promise a faster and a more interesting next post, but somehow didn't get around to it. A peek into my page the other day revealed that my last post was a month ago. And i actually felt a twinge. I seriously doubted my communication capabilities then. The previous 2 drafts, that I intended completing the very day I had started them, seemed lame. Infact, I don't even feel the need to write on them now. Trust me, I tried. For the past 2 days, all I've been doing at work is staring at the (dumb) lines I had written [Yea, Yea. This IS what I do at work!] Staring, typing, backspace-ing, staring, typing and deleting. The titles always seem to pop into my head first and then content. This time- no title, no content. So I'm just going to keep going with a few nagging thoughts and see where this heads.

Issue #1- My Tale of Woes.

Quite a few people have been telling me lately that I'm a cribber. I laughed it off at first and then (as alwayz a little late) I realized that, sadly, it is true. Soooooooo, I decided to make a pact with myself- that I wouldn't crib to anyone anymore. And even if I do want to, I'd make it short. I mean, why would anyone want to listen to the history and geography of my silly problem! [Don't refute, guys. I KNOW I'm right on this. I can't handle them myself , so why you?] I'm going to try and solve it internally before letting it out!

Issue #2- The **** Face Syndrome.

Certain people have this uncanny ability to irk at a glance. Nothing to do with their physical appearance, really. Just that certain actions and words of theirs ruin the chemistry of history, bringing it to this. I alwayz knew my temper wasn't the best but now, all I have to do is look at certain faces and my blood starts boiling like a cauldron! Instantaneously a dozen abusive words find their way to the tip of my tongue and I literally have to hold myself back from uttering them out loud. Worst part? It irks me more that it irks me in the first place!

Issue #3- The Selfishness Streak.

Some are born with it, some acquire it, while some others try to implement it because they are told it helps survive. Funny huh? All through our childhood, parents go on and on and on about how sharing is important but all of a sudden in the World of the mighty adults [fuelled by the Darwinian theory of 'survival of the fittest'] it is only right that we claw, bite and gnaw our way into excellence. It doesn't matter how many trees are felled, it doesn't matter how much blood is shed, as long as the end is good. It certainly is a sad,sad situation!

Issue #4- The Feud Fetish.

I've alwayz maintained that I don't like fighting. I hate being the object of one or even worse, being in the midst of one. Which seems to be happening a lot lately. Which is why I kinda feel maybe these guys actually have a fetish for it! I feel like I suddenly have a cabbage for a head which people really relish eating. I don't get it (and I really don't want to) but everything I do or not do, say or not say is an issue. Silly to me, important to others. I guess that's where the problem is. To me all that bickering, bashing and bitching is such a waste of time,energy and emotion. Bury the hatchet and everything is back to normal. So, what was the point in getting all worked up at all?????

Issue #5- The Mad Ad World.

This is a serious turn off. 30 min program, 20 min ads. I was surprised when I was looking at the T.V guide last Saturday when I noticed that the program me and my sis wanted to watch was scheduled for 10-11.55 pm. Pretttttty long right? No points for guessing why. All we got was Glimpses. The show, Shah Rukh Khan, the show, HDFC, the show, a baby, the show, Big B! Takes allll the fun out of a relaxing T.V experience. To top it all, none of the ads themselves make any sense. Some silly man cooking a meal for his silly wife and trying to talk silly stuff which happens to be an ad for some even sillier anti-ageing cream! A Mad Ad World in a Mad Mad World!

There's lots more where that came from but I guess this should do for now. I feel a ton lighter getting these thoughts out and Breaking the Sabbatical.....

TAGGED!!!!

OH man!I've been tagged! And it couldn't have come at a better time...For, all the while I cribbed at being unemployed, now, I wish to be able to wake up at noon rather than dawn!!! Thanks Srini for the tag and also for giving me something to post cuz I was just beginning to think I wouldn't have time to blog again! :)

1.(a) Pick out a scar you have:

Uh...emotional?or physical?Ok, ok..I'm not gonna get all whiney...A scar...hmmm....Got this tiny thing on my knee...Actually there's more than 1, thanks to my accident-prone self!

(b) And explain how you got it?

Well...not like it was a moment to remember and celebrate or anything, but I think I fell down somewhere sometime!One second I was walking and the next..WHAM! down on my knees :D

2.What does your phone look like?

Nokia 6600..Pathetically maintained...so...This is getting personal man.. :D

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?

STARS :D and planets and some weird satellite kinda stuff...hehe...you know, those self adhesive glow in the dark stuff that I find totally cool....makes me all starry eyed...literally!

4. What is your current desktop picture?

I never guessed it would matter!!!But right now, thanks to my PC's extra slow performance and extra low memory, it's just a blank blue screen ( as suggested by the comp guy)

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?

Marriage itself is questionable...now gay marriage??? Well, I don't really have an opinion...To each his own!If it makes someone happy, then good....

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

To sleep....and wake up noon tomorrow... :D

7. What time were you born?

Sometime July 11th 1984!

8. Are your parents still together?

Uh...yea...!!!

9. Last person who made you cry?

Myself...really...I can make myself cry anytime...

10. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?

Elizabeth Arden Green Tea...and well, Orange Tonic by Azzaro...

11. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?

Never really mattered...

12. What are you listening to?

My sad-ass singing...No more questions on that plz ;)

13. Do you get scared of the dark?

YEAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!I get all paranoid in the dark and my brain works overtime...

14. Do you like pain killers?

What's there to like? You got pain, kill it...Wanna hold on to it, your choice...

15. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

I'm pretty archaic in my thinking here. I still feel the guy's gotta do the asking out....

16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

Anything...that's me!

17. Who were the last persons you made mad?

My mom...that goes on forever...and the feeling is mutual... :D

18. Is anyone in love with you?

I certainly hope there is some 'one' !

That's all Folks!!!!

Incessant Chatter to Mindless Rambling...

I start this blog in a very filmy way- swishing my freshly washed, sweet-smelling (thanks to L'oreal), recently 'smoothened' hair (though I don't really see any difference this time) and gently tucking it in behind my ear. I feel real good everytime I wash my hair. With all due credit to my secret serum and conditioner, my hair is reallll soft to touch, if I can say so myself. The effect lasts an hour. Good enough. An hour of feeling good, two days a week. Notches up my self confidence a bit.

As I alwayz say, I write to express. When something insinutates or amuses me. When bored or ecstasic. And I need inspiration. Hits me like a thunder bolt at the weirdest of times and my fingers itchhhhh to type it out. But now, I try and rack my brain to write something. Zilch. Nothing. So I decided I'll write about nothing-ness. A paragraphed version of my "Penny for my thoughts". An empty vessel making a lot of noise.

Something's changed me. My brain's short circuited. Can't attribute that to any one person or instance. But I'm different now. I alwayz thought I was talkative. People had to beg me to shutup. And even then I wouldn't. My idea of torture, you see. But now, 'I' don't wanna talk. I wanna be alone. I prefer the comfort of a book and the voices on t.v. Reel rather than real. It's a phase I know. And I'll get out of it. My phase of boredom! :)

I just don't wanna talk! I've got nothing to say most of the times. Conversations last 5 min. Anything more and it would resemble the hardly audible, soft humm of the air conditioner. Just hmm's and hmm's on either side. And then, when neither can bear it no more for fear of having the hmmmm echo on through-out the day, the byes are said. And I am back to basking in my own company! Aaahh...Solitude is Bliss :) :) :)

I know I sound weird, like some depressed maniac with skewed worldly views and latent serial killer tendencies ...hehe...But, y'all being my bosom buddies should know about my mood swings. This is just one of those low moments :)

For those of you who expected to read something a little more cheerful, sorry to disappoint and drag you into this quagmire of mine- earlier my Incessant Chatter, to now my Mindless Rambling!

P.s: I do requests....I also promise the next one is not gonna be about me :D ...And Jagannath, that sorry is soooo for you! I told u- yes blog, NO fun!hehe...

A Quickie...

Now,now don't get your thoughts twisted..! I mean this is a quick, mini sequel of sorts to my previous entry.Just a few more thoughts I missed out that I simply must share :)

For those of you with access to paid channels, I'd request you to watch atleast one episode of Channel V's "Get Gorgeous" which is (supposedly) the "Hunt for India's hottest face", whatever that is!The "panel", as they call themselves, consist of a stick like girl with a mop of curly hair, a very gay guy (and no, I don't mean gay as in happy) and some hugely successful make-up artist. Their rampage covers the hot cities of Delhi, Pune, Bangalore and,ofcourse, Mumbai (Talk of hot and Chennai should be way up there, but no, not to them. The Chennai they know still has girls attired in pavadai dhavanis!). The only episode I saw ( I couldn't bear to watch that and hence no more)had the moppy girl going to the most 'happening' places in these cities and handing over admit cards to girls whom they considered model material and inviting them for the audition.

The girls present themselves in weird hues and patterns and act weird-er in front of the panel to get themselves noticed. The panel goes by the mantra- the weirder, the better. Atleast that's how it seemed. I personally don't have anything against these pageants because I basically just don't care for them but watching this one infuriated me! Wanna know why? Listen to this-There was this one girl who walked into the audition room and the gay guy with the weirdly spiked hair and his characteristic nasal voice shrieked," My!!Who asked you to come here???" The girl was obviously taken aback and answered that her friends thought she was pretty and wanted her to audition. To which the dude, with an animated shocked expression exclaimed, "Oh no!!Your friends must be blind!You are U.G.L.Y. Your hair's too dry, your eyes too wide and your lips too thin. Please go NOW!" ....!!!!!!Poor parents of his, they must regret having raised a monstrous homo with a shoot-off mouth. I don't even want to get into what the girl's reaction was at this outburst!What makes him or any of those out there put someone down that way?

This brings us to the issue of hurtful motor mouth comments. I always thought people who said mean things were either enemies or just plain bad. But I now realize that there are people who believe they can simply speak their mind and think that's ok- whether or not it hurts the other. Recently at a friend's place, I had someone tell me that my hair looked real soft and nice. Just as I was all blushy and was about to tell her my secret serum story, she leaned forward, touched my hair and said, "Oh!Y'know what? It just looks soft, maybe cuz of the straightening, but it's actually rough to touch". I was stumped. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Laugh in wonder at the fact that there are actually people like that and cry because, well, I was hurt! But she didn't flinch, because she didn't think it was wrong to say that. And let me tell you, she was a friend. And a pretty good one.

I have always been the kind of person who has thought it alright to "white-lie" or rather hide the truth [Yup, Janie, you know what I mean. Not just in office but otherwise too :)] A firm believer in karma, I would never even dream of saying anything, knowing that it's going to hurt. Never, never, never!But it is saddening to see that there are those who feel that they wield the baton of truth. Knowingly or unknowingly, they say discomforting things, thinking that it's alright. They don't notice the shrivelled face, the slight drooping eyes and lips and that shattered expression of the other.

I don't know whether all of you would agree [Jane, Dolz n Ruby, I count you in with me, cuz of our million-hour tete-a-tete's in which all that would be voiced would be HOWs and WHYs...hehe...] . It maybe a trivial pursuit to few, or many, but it is something I feel strongly about. Lemme know what you think, and yea, make it (A) Quick(ie)!!!

The Devil Wears PRADA, The Angel Wears HERSELF...

Check out the pallette below giving this season Summer '07s MUST-WEAR shades. Dare to sport anything else and your stint in the everyday fashion scene is ka-put....So, are you IN...or are you OUT???

Oh yea, by the way? The primary 'requisite' to BE in the fashion scene in the 1st place, is that you have GOT to be a size, get this, ZERO! (translation: somewhat similar to the skeleton in your biology lab, but with skin..and (not necessarily)pretty features...and hair!) So, if you happen to be (shudder!) anything close to a size 1 or above, Get a Life, you are SO not stylish!

Who dictates the world of haute couture, you may wonder. It is not one, but a plethora of like-minded 'creators' of fashion who churn out fashion regulations by the hour every-single-day of the year. They get paid by the millions for it, their cranky whacky designs get noticed (God knows why), win accolades and all that earns them a place in the Golden Book of Mankind. More often than not, the huge (pun intended) chunk of people, not conforming to the pre-set standards of body architecture, get ignored.

[Below: Sketches by a top designer]

Hollywood in 2006 came out with a comical take on the World of fashion with "The Devil Wears Prada". The Devil, played sophisticatedly and with elan by a high-on-botox Meryl Streep, is a fashion guru, an icon feared by all in the industry for her ruthless ways. Editor of the most coveted fashion magazine 'Runaway', Miranda Priestly (Streep) runs her office mirthlessly, sorely testing her staff all the time. Her office shouts Prada!Armani!Versace! at every possible turn and Andrea Sachs (Anne Hathaway), her new assistant, finds her self plunged despairingly into a mire of impossibly thin, heart- wrenchingly stylish men and women in hot stilettos and tight leather pants revealing bodies that pledge life-long dedication to the gym! Andrea isn't the type. She's a typical cream-cheese bagel loving, jelly donut freak who, according to her, is a good writer and so, doesn't see why she must keep track of what she eats and what she wears!

[The movie is supposed to be inspired by Anna Wintour, editor of the U.S Vogue magazine]

I loved it, enjoyed every quip, every candid frame of the movie was hilarious but it left me wondering- if Andrea ( a size 8 ) wasn't acceptable, what about ME? I guess I'm entitled to eternal banishment from the very face of the earth for being a (humble) size 14+!!! I do have my moments of deep,dark sorrow when I look into the mirror and see my reflection,yet I do believe that that has nothing to do with who I am. I may not fit into any of this year's pret line from Milan or Paris or whereever, but I am happy wearing my cotton kurtas in fat-concealing colours like black with my inimitable dupatta wrapped around my broad shoulders and neck. THAT is my fashion statement and hence the anti-thesis, The Angel Wears HERSELF..... (not that I necessarily mean that the angel is me)

Style is intrinsic, it emanates from within. You maybe wearing the most elitest gown, but if you carry an attitude to match its price, you're not going to have too many fans! It is all a matter of confidence-how much thou love thyself! Style is comfort- if you like what you wear, it shows. Try it out, wearing your best jeans and your favourite t-shirt always makes you feel good, no matter if the jeans are Levi's or the T- Nike. But when you do dress up to,well, 'dress-up', wearing a short, slinky revealing dress, you may get a lot of winks but you couldn't care less because all you want to do right then is slip out of it.

What you see below is NOT a grizzly bear nor the sketch of a rag-picker, it is infact one of the top designs for the Fall of 2006. I'm sure none of you would want to be caught alive-or dead- in THAT!Now you know what I mean..?? :)

At the recent fashion week in Paris, renowned designer Jean Paul Gaultier did something that shocked the world. As a fitting response to the controversy over the size-O models, he put a voluptuous size 20+ model on the ramp in a daring black corset, proving that BIG is BEAUTIFUL. Now, isn't that admirable???

Rather than join the bandwagon on the season's best colour, pattern, length blah blah, take the time to discover YOUR style. That sets you apart and makes others sit up and notice your unique image- just YOU.

So, the next time you are intimidated by someone claiming to be in vogue (and indirectly alleging that you aren't) let them go to Hell, because The Devil (may) Wear Prada, (but) The Angel? Wears HERSELF...

P.S: Dolz, I know you're laughing at the title..Trust me, it still is funny for me too...but I didn't wanna go back on the few literary bursts that grace my tiny lil brain :)